come morning light you & I'll be safe & sound-Dean

[DEAN GRAYSON BLACKWELL]

LETTHERAINWASHAWAYALLTHEPAINOFYESTERDAY
BACKWHEREIBELONGINEVERFELTSOSTRONG
T E L L T H E W O R L D T H A T I M C O M I N G H O M E

dean didn't enjoy seeing his wife this way. her face soaked with tears. it wasn't how he'd imagined things would be by now. his arms tightened around her some when she told more about how his parents had treated her. it's not even any of their business, he said through gritted teeth. dean wished he would have known about all this when he'd been back in california. he would have given them a good talking to and probably threatened to never speak to them again.he lives here? he found that a bit surprising, especially since he hadn't seen him yet. but maybe he wasn't aware that he'd come back. the two had never been close to one another and had had quite a bit of rivalry growing up.

dean knew that the blame was on him. it'd been a bad idea to bring up his wish to try for another baby. he'd thought three years was long enough, but obviously it hadn't been for her. but then, lexi had been the one to carry their son and birth a stillborn baby. it'd been so much harder on her than it had been on him. dean gave a bit of a frustrated laugh as she said again that it was her fault. it was silly to keep going back and forth, arguing about who's fault it was. look. i brought it up and it was only natural for you to freak out. i don't blame you in any way, lexi, and no one else should be, either. the fault is mine, he told her in a matter of fact way, hoping that would put an end to it.

his nightmares had been even worse when lexi wasn't there. just knowing she wouldn't be there to comfort dean when he woke up just added to how bad they were. his war ones had been bad enough before he'd been stranded, but she was always there to help calm him once he'd come to. sometimes she would have to wake him up because the way he was breathing worried her, and other times he would yell and scream in his sleep. dean hated them with a passion, but had never been able to get rid of them. no medication had ever worked.

he sat up, rubbing his eyes as he tried to wake himself the rest of the way. feels like i barely slept at all. dean knew that the reason was because it hadn't been restful, with his nightmare and all, but he didn't mention that. it was bad enough to have to deal with them in his sleep, let alone talk about it now that he was awake. i would love a coke, he said with a smile. you have no idea how many times i craved an ice cold coke. dean liked the idea of rum in it, too, but he wanted to have just a plain coke at first. no, this is fine, he answered when lexi said she could get him some water. he'd been drinking nothing but for the past few years, so it didn't sound very appealing. especially when an offer like a rum coke was on the table.

dean took a bite of his food, taking his time as he enjoyed every bit of it. he looked up at lexi, noticing she really wasn't eating and wondered if he should say something. before he could, however, she asked him a question. he swallowed the food he had in his mouth, keeping his eyes on his plate as he thought about it. i'm not sure you'd like what i'd have to say about it, dean replied with a small laugh. he wasn't sure if it'd upset him to talk about it or not, really, since he hadn't done so, yet. it's alright. he thought about how to answer for a few minutes, trying to think of something semi-good he could say about it. well, in another situation it would be like paradise. there was no lie in that. the island had been beautiful, but he really hadn't been able to appreciate it, for obvious reasons.it didn't really run into any problems. it was just.. lonely, dean told her, then took a sip of coke. he didn't particularly want to go into the details of exactly how he'd felt, but so far he wasn't having any anxiety about talking about it. he knew, though, that that would no doubt come later while he tried to sleep. especially if he was alone. he didn't even want to think about that, figuring that he and lexi wouldn't be sharing the same bed. at least not tonight. she would probably agree to it if he explained his reasons why, but he wasn't going to, not wanting her to feel like she had to if she really didn't want to. he would just have to deal with whatever happened as best he could.

notes ?! <3
words ?! EIGHT ONE EIGHT
tagg ?! LEXI
wearing ?! OUTFIT
credit ?! REAL SLIM SHADY !? @ Caution 2.0
[/color]
[/size]

[ALEXANDRIA LEAH CROSS]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(http://i56.tinypic.com/2zgu9hc.jpg); width: 440px; padding-top:10px;] the girl in the moon --- Lexi was the one to scoff this time. ”Of course it’s their business. You’re the son who went missing and everyone thought you were dead. I’d hate me if I was in their shoes.” It’s not like Lexi was really family after all. She had only married their son and their other devoted more energy then they wanted. Now that Lexi thought about it maybe him helping her so much may have been for different reasons. Lexi tried to shake that thought away as she attempted in vain to wipe at her eyes again which gave her the opportunity to break eye contact from Dean. Otherwise she might give away why else she was feeling guilty. ”Yeah he moved here a couple weeks ago to work in the police department.” There was a pause as she drew in a sharp breath. ”Your parents apparently called him and asked if they’d seen you. They said they didn’t want you to shock me but I have a feeling that’s not why.” Lexi hated to think ill of her in laws but she just had this gut feeling they wanted Dean not be near Lexi. Why else did they keep him being found from her? Another slight scowl formed as she looked at Dean while he laughed a little. Even if it wasn’t one of amusement that wouldn’t help things at all. ”How about we agree to disagree and come back to it later?” The corner of her lip twitched with fondness. She used to often say that when it seemed the two were at an impasse over one thing or another. The way Dean had jolted awake worried Lexi considerably. She was afraid to leave him alone though she had no idea how the sleeping arrangements would work. Part of her ached to just fall asleep in his arms again but him just kissing her had sent her into a fit of tears. Mainly because she had felt guilty and just overwhelmed. Maybe now that that barrier had broken, they could make baby steps? After all they could just sleep together without sleeping together. A frown formed on her face. ”After you can go to bed if you want. You have to be exhausted from all the flying, seeing people and then me going psycho on you.” She laughed lightly under her breath as she attempted a weak smile. Lexi poured his coke out over some ice before she handed it over. It must have been hard for him being there. Not only was he alone but he didn’t have a wide selection of foods and probably didn’t have that much to do either. It broke Lexi’s heart to think of how utterly alone he must have been. She ate her food silently as she listened to what he had to say while she occasionally glanced over at him. The look on his face as he talked abut the island confirmed what she had been thinking. ”I’m sorry no one was there with you. I won’t let you be alone again if you don’t want to be.” Lexi’s heart rate picked up as she smiled over at him. Of course there’d be times she’d have to work but when not at work, she’d spend her time with him. And make sure someone checked in on him. Maybe for a little while she’d reduce her hours at work or go back to working daytime. Which made her feel bad because she knew Oliver liked her better to work with then some of the other nurses. Mainly because she could but up with his odd behaviors and understood why certain patients dying was so hard on him. Lexi finished off her food and set her plate on the coffee table before she took another sip of her drink. She was about two thirds through it but not feeling the alcohol too badly as she hadn’t put that much in it. Lexi sat there awkwardly a moment before she turned to Dean. ”You can come sit over here with me, if you want?” Lexi figured they should try to get used to being near one another again. They used to always be so close and found ways to hold one another before. Lexi did want to get back to that point with him. She wanted her husband back. Though, he had always been more then that. Lexi had missed talking to him these last few years, even if it was about the most random things possible. Sure she was able to do that with some of her family-and lately Jayce-but it just wasn’t the same. When Dean came over to the loveseat, Lexi shifted to make room for him. When he got comfortable she nervously moved to curl up beside him. Her body was a bit stiff at first as it was strange to her. She was curling against a man she had thought dead for almost three years. Despite the tension it didn’t take long for her body to relax against his. She reached an arm to wrap around the front of his stomach. ”Is there anything else you wanted to talk about?” They had already made it past the biggest hurdles of letting the barriers break to allow conversation to flow. There really was no reason to stop it now unless he just didn’t want to. Then Lexi wouldn’t push things and find something else to talk about. tag: dean outfit: click! lyric credit: everly notes: I think Lexi needs some of her cuddly juice in her system to help ease the tension

credit to BABY DARLING ! @ caution 2.0

[DEAN GRAYSON BLACKWELL]

LETTHERAINWASHAWAYALLTHEPAINOFYESTERDAY
BACKWHEREIBELONGINEVERFELTSOSTRONG
T E L L T H E W O R L D T H A T I M C O M I N G H O M E

yes, but you were- are, my wife. i don't care what happened. they never should have treated you that way, and believe me, they're going to get an earful, he told her heatedly. dean calmed himself down a little and sighed. there was no use getting upset about it now, especially since his parents weren't there at that moment to talk to. but talk to them he would. he watched lexi wipe at her tears again, but this time he hesitantly reached up and used his thumb to brush some of them off her face.

i see. dean wondered what was behind jayce's decision to move to hope harbor. probably just to be there for lexi and he thought that was pretty nice of him, considering their parents wouldn't approve if they knew. i get the same feeling, he replied in annoyance. lexi was being very nice about the whole thing with his parents, and even being understanding about it. as nice as he knew she was, it still surprised him. dean felt like he was more upset about it than her, though maybe that was because he'd just found out about it, and she'd had three years to come to terms with it. alright. that was something she always used to say when they had their disagreements, and despite the situation, it brought a small smile in reply. he noticed that it almost brought one from lexi, too. dean also was glad that they wouldn't have to keep talking about it for now.

he gave a little laugh in return, though he didn't miss the frown that had formed on her face. she was probably worried about his nightmares and that was the last thing dean wanted. he also wasn't sure that he wanted to sleep, and for good reason. he was tired, of course, but not tired enough to want to deal with them. maybe.. i took a nap earlier, when you went for a walk. i actually slept really well, too. that had surprised him, but maybe it was because he'd been so exhausted. dean hoped that lexi wouldn't figure out that the earlier nap he mentioned was just an excuse and not the real reason behind his reluctance to sleep.

he took the offered coke from lexi and thanked her. dean didn't take long in getting a sip of it, and it was better than he remembered. probably because it'd been so long since he'd had one. he shrugged a little when she said she was sorry, almost saying that it wasn't her fault, but not wanting to argue about whose fault it was again. at least it's over with, dean replied, in a relieved tone. though that fact was still sinking in. i don't- i don't want you to feel like you have to do anything you're not comfortable with. like sleeping in the same bed or even in the same room. no, he didn't want to be alone, but if it upset lexi, he wasn't about to do it. dean returned her smile, wondering what she was thinking. did she want to? just sleep, of course. but he couldn't be sure that she was even ready for that. maybe she didn't even know.

he finished off his food shortly after lexi did. he also finished off his coke, then stood to get another one, this time adding rum to it. dean sat back down, taking a pretty big drink from it before glancing over at lexi. he remembered how alcohol used to affect her. she'd get all cuddly and happy, and it usually led to.. other things. he quickly tried to think about something other than that, and soon he forgot all about it. she shocked him a little when she asked if he wanted to come sit by her. um... dean wanted to, of course, but was too surprised to know what to say, at first. are you sure? he questioned, a look of uncertainty on his face. he stood and slowly walked over, sitting down next to her, but closer to the arm of the loveseat than her. dean had pushed things once, and he didn't want to do so again. he'd been used to a high level of contact with his wife, in general. they had always found reasons to sit by one another, hug, hold hands or kiss.

when lexi curled up to him, dean froze for a minute. as much as he enjoyed the contact, it still felt odd. he hadn't really done much with people since being back, especially as far as physical contact went. his parents had given him lots of hugs, of course, though even that had felt weird. dean relaxed as well, especially when lexi did, too, and even wrapped an arm around his stomach. he placed his own behind her and on her shoulders, glad that she was ok with this. he rested his head against hers, then moved take her hand with his free arm. dean ran his thumb over her wedding bands for a moment, then laced his fingers with hers. he thought about her question for a few minutes, rubbing the back of her hand with his thumb as he did so. i never asked about how you were all this time. i know you had people around you, but.. you had to feel alone, too, dean finally said, quietly. he was enjoying this time, just relaxing, cuddling and talking. like things were back to normal. and it didn't feel weird, either. dean pulled lexi a little closer to himself, tears welling up in his eyes a little, though these were from the fact he was so happy to finally be back with his wife.

notes ?! <3
words ?! NINE FOUR NINE
tagg ?! LEXI
wearing ?! OUTFIT
credit ?! REAL SLIM SHADY !? @ Caution 2.0
[/color]
[/size]

[ALEXANDRIA LEAH CROSS]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(http://i56.tinypic.com/2zgu9hc.jpg); width: 440px; padding-top:10px;] the girl in the moon --- Lexi hadn’t wanted his reaction from Dean concerning his parents. Yes, it had hurt her when they did that to her. Yes it still hurt her but...they were his parents. Their eldest son had gone missing and they had a right to think the way that they did. ”Don’t make any rash decisions. Just…sleep on it and then call them ok? I’d rather you not fight with your parents.” Despite her own tears and her hoarse voice, she was rather calm in her words. Lexi didn’t want Dean to argue with anyone in his family or her own. She could take it all as she had been doing plenty of it. It was also why she desperately had to talk to Jayce first before everything about their relations came out and Dean got pissed. And she knew Dean would be pissed-if not at her then Jayce. Even if he would be mad at her she knew Jayce would get the brunt of it all. Lexi didn’t want that. The Blackwell family just got Dean back and they should all be able to be brought closer again, not driven further apart. She leaned her head forward as his thumb brushed along her skin. It really did feel nice to have contact with him just that hadn’t talked about anything before and it felt like it was all rushed. In thinking about it she knew they both had different spectrums. He had been able to imagine their reunion while she was unable to. If it had been before the declaration of death then she’d be in the same boat as him in wanting contact all the time-to try to hold one another and kiss one another. For now she had to warm up to the idea a little bit. Which, now that she had everything out there, it was a little easier to do. Not a giant leap but still a little bit easier. ”He works nights so his next day off I’ll see if he wants to come by to spend time with you. I’ll make you guys lunch and then you two can have some alone time as long as you promise not to kill one another.” Humor shined in her eyes even if the tears on her face and the half smile, half grimace didn’t show it. She figured as long as the things her and Jayce did weren’t brought up then everything would be fine. There’d be no reason for blood to be spilt. Then again, the two boys had never really gotten along. Their rivalry went beyond the normal scope of sibling disagreements and she always wondered why. If it was just the large age gap or if there had been something more going on. But it had never been her place to ask least she stir up more trouble. Lexi’s brow furrowed as she studied him. She really couldn’t get a read on him at the moment of how he really was feeling as far as being rested. They had spent too much time apart and they were both trying to hide things. Of course now she had sort of let out everything she had been keeping in. Well, not everything but enough of the big stuff. There was still plenty under the surface she needed to let out. Hopefully she didn’t have another breakdown and let it all out in a fury again. ”Ok. I’m used to working nights anyways so I’ll probably be up awhile myself.” Not like she could say she was used to running on little sleep from also spending time with a guy, mainly his brother. Not like she was thinking about Jayce anymore. Aside from wanting to tlak to him about the new developments, she was slowly pushing thoughts of being with him from her mind. No, she couldn’t get rid of how she had felt about him so quickly but she had Dean back. Her husband and the one she had always loved. Even with him presumed dead. She had promised to be with him until death do them part. Death had lost last time so she wasn’t going to walk away so easily. Yes, as hard as it would be to hear for the other Blackwell man to hear he had to know that Lexi would work on her marriage with Dean. She had obviously chosen Dean when they were fifteen and then again when they were eighteen and decided to get married. That wouldn’t change so easily now. ”Dean I’m not saying this because I feel like I have to. You’re my husband and I’m going to be there for you.” Lexi sighed as she pushed some hair behind her ear. ”I mean I know I freaked out earlier but...I was still in the middle of wrapping my head around things. No we won’t entirely be like we used to and some things may be awkward but I’m not going to alienate you. For better or for worse, remember? I still love you and I still want to be there for better or worse like I told you almost ten years ago.” Lexi blushed lightly as looked down at her food. There’d be a lot of adjustments but she was willing to do whatever they had to in order to find their rhythm again. While Daniel and Leila leaving for a few days had seemed like a bad idea, maybe it was a good one. Her and Dean could just talk about and figure things out once again. After everything with Jayce, Lexi was learning not to drink a lot again. Though in this case it’d probably be helpful if she had a glass of rum and coke with a bit more rum then she put in her first one. Perhaps it’d help her to not be so hesitant about things. Then they could just do things without having to ask one another with bits of hesitation. Sure, she eased up after a few moments but that didn’t mean everything felt like it did before. Now it was a little bit foreign. They had each grown and changed these last three years and were bound to be different, even just slightly. Their bodies still seemed to remember some things, though. It was evident after he wrapped his arm around her and pulled her a little closer because his head rested against hers and his hand took a hold of hers. Lexi squeezed his hand as her eyes drifted shut in contentment. Lexi sighed as she thought over his question. She didn’t want to upset him but it’d be hard to hide everything. If she didn’t tell him then someone else would. ”When I first found out I-I didn’t believe it. Daniel and my mom flew out. The two of them and Jayce pretty much kept me from losing it. I didn’t leave the house for a few months. Between the police suspecting me, the things your parents said and the press I just couldn’t handle it. Eventually I just came back to Maine and only went back when your-” Lexi paused. She hatd throwing his parents under the bus like this because she was making them sound like horrible people when they weren’t. ”When your parents wanted you declared dead but since we were-are-married only I could do so. I just did whatever that wanted I was too numb. Same with them contesting your will.” Lexi opened her eyes and stared at their entwined hands. She was probably going more in depth then she needed but he might as well know. ”I mean yeah people were there and supportive but no one understood. Everyone told me to just give up hope and that you were dead. Eventually I did but not as soon as people wanted me to I think. Everyone still asks me how I’m doing or how I’m feeling and it’s annoying. Some people thought I should move on and think about getting serious with someone else but I just haven’t been able to and they didn’t get that, except for Oliver. His wife died a couple years ago so sort of got everything. He’s been the only person who’s understood and I’ve only known him a few months.” Lexi had sort of gone off there and she cleared her throat in embarrassment. ”I’m sorry I didn’t mean to ramble off like that. I told myself not to let you worry and I sort of blew that one out of the water.” Lexi laughed lightly as she nuzzled her head against his. She just soaked in the moment with him as she stared at nothing in particular. ”How’d your parents take the news? Overjoyed I assume?” tag: dean outfit: click! lyric credit: everly notes: I think Lexi needs some of her cuddly juice in her system to help ease the tension

credit to BABY DARLING ! @ caution 2.0

[DEAN GRAYSON BLACKWELL]

LETTHERAINWASHAWAYALLTHEPAINOFYESTERDAY
BACKWHEREIBELONGINEVERFELTSOSTRONG
T E L L T H E W O R L D T H A T I M C O M I N G H O M E

dean knew lexi was talking sense. he hadn't planned on speaking to them right then, so maybe if he had a little more time to think on it he'd feel differently. but he doubted it. ok, he agreed with a nod. yeah, i don't want to fight with them, either. he was still having a hard time believing that it was actually true, but he had to look at it from their shoes, perhaps. it was difficult for dean to do so, though, since he was just so angry with them still. it wasn't that he wanted to start a fight with anyone, but he didn't feel that he could let something like that go on without saying a word to confront it. and now that he was back, they had still tried to keep the two apart, which made it even worse.

dean was relieved to see that lexi was ok with him wiping her tears away. the fact that she'd thought him dead was definitely the difference in their perspectives, which had caused the reaction he hadn't expected. for him, the last three years had been spent imagining their happy reunion, but not so for lexi. so he understood her side. dean just had to remind himself to take things slow. not that he wanted to rush things, but slow for him and slow for her were quite a bit different, at this point. he just had to give her time to adjust to the fact that he was alive.

he listened to what lexi said about jayce, keeping his face expressionless so as not to reveal what he was thinking. dean had never had a great liking for his brother, and the feeling was mutual, so he wasn't really looking forward to alone time with him. what on earth would they talk about? he'd probably get an earful about how dumb it was for him to go out like he had without checking the weather. dean knew that, and didn't feel like hearing it again. daniel had already told him off for it and he didn't need his little brother doing the same. still, dean would try to stay civil, no matter what jayce said to him. not for his sake, but for lexi's. he knew it'd upset her if they started fighting or something. that'd be nice, he replied with a smile, trying not to show how much he really wouldn't enjoy it. he'd rather spend that time with lexi, honestly. i'll try and be good. dean hadn't been real mature in his high school years, but once he'd gotten married and joined the army that had changed. add to that the fact that he'd spent three long years all alone on an island, he was even more. though his fuse was probably a little shorter now, at least at this point. maybe with time he'd be more himself, but it wouldn't be for a while.

apparently dean was better at hiding things than he thought. or it was the fact that they hadn't been around each other in a while and had lost that intimacy. he remembered being able to read lexi like an open book and she him, but that was no longer. at least for now. he really hoped they'd be able to get back to the way things were before the accident, eventually. ok. whenever you want to go to bed, though, is fine. you don't have to stay up for my sake, dean told her. he would probably go to bed when she did, but not before that. he didn't want that to stop lexi from heading to bed when she was ready to, though.

he looked down as he listened to her reply, staring at the glass of rum coke in his hand. it was a comfort to dean, to hear her say those things, and he felt a lump in his throat. i know. i'm sorry for taking it a bit fast. it was just.. a bit different for me, he replied with a bit of a smile, referring to the fact he'd been looking forward to it for so long. he nodded as she finished, unable to keep from tearing up. honestly, he'd felt like an emotional wreck ever since he got back. considering what dean had been through, it wasn't much of a surprise, but it was foreign to him. the last time he'd remembered doing so was when he found out their baby had died. no, he had never been one to cry much. i still love you, too. of course, he'd already told her that, so she knew, but he wanted to say it again as he finally looked up at her. at it really been almost ten years since they'd got married? it was hard to believe, though that was probably because he'd been absent for three of them. dean smiled a bit when lexi blushed, reminding him of their younger years when she used to be uncomfortable around him. it made him sad, too, though, to realize that they were back to that point.

it was hard for him to listen to, the guilt overwhelming, but he knew he needed to. he deserved to hear what he'd put his wife through, even if he hadn't meant to. dean clenched his jaw and closed his eyes when she spoke about his parents, but he didn't comment. lexi already knew how he felt, so there was no use saying it once again. he remained silent till she was done, wishing with his whole heart that none of it had ever happened. it was clear that she'd been under a lot of pressure to do the things that everyone else wanted her to do, except for oliver, it sounded like. he'd only just met him earlier that day, but dean had thought he seemed like a nice guy, and he'd been right. the guy definitely deserved an enormous thank you for the fact that he'd been there for lexi. you have no idea how sorry i am, lexi. and i know sorry doesn't cut it, but.. now that i'm back, i will do anything i can to make it up to you and show you how much i care. it was good for her to be able to get it off her chest, he figured, so he didn't mind the extra information. dean was just glad to be talking with her and sitting together.

no, it's fine. and i'll worry no matter what you do or don't say, and i'd rather hear it. honestly, dean informed her, not wanting her to keep anything from him for fear of worrying him. he should be the one to, instead of her. he chuckled a little, more because of her laugh, which he'd missed so much. his smile widened some when she nuzzled her head against his, happy that they'd come as far as they had in a pretty short time. very, he replied with a laugh, trying to keep his voice light. they wanted me to stay with them for a while, actually. i took off as soon as i could, though. he didn't want to mention the fact that they wouldn't tell him wear lexi was, figuring it would be best not to head down that path again.

notes ?! <3
words ?! ONE TWO ONE FIVE
tagg ?! LEXI
wearing ?! OUTFIT
credit ?! REAL SLIM SHADY !? @ Caution 2.0
[/color]
[/size]

[ALEXANDRIA LEAH CROSS]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(http://i56.tinypic.com/2zgu9hc.jpg); width: 440px; padding-top:10px;] the girl in the moon --- Lexi could tell Dean was upset hearing about what his parents did. She was for a long time and her brother still was. There had already been enough strife because of everything that had happened. Lexi just wanted to leave the past alone and move on. But it would be different for each of them. She had been able to deal with her emotions over the last few years, he hadn’t. While she had to deal with the shock of him being alive, he had to deal with the shock of the world he came back to being different. His family and Lexi really didn’t get along much anymore. At least there wasn’t a whole lot politically that had happened. Everything was relatively minor compared ot how it could be. Just everything he had known in his personal life was different now and Lexi felt terrible about that. Lexi wanted to be able to give Dean what he wanted. To go at the speed he felt comfortable at since he had endured three years alone but it was hard. If it had been the Lexi he knew before, it’s be easy. But with him being presumed dead she had gotten really bad anxiety attacks. Now she couldn’t adjust so easily to things. Lexi would try her very best to ease up. Perhaps it was time she went back to therapy. Mostly, a few days off from work would be the best solution. Right now she was trying to find a solution for everything to help him, her and them as a couple. Things like waiting to tell her parents because she knew them-they’d be here at this house wanting to do anything possible to help them. Troy and her sister? Honestly she couldn’t guess their reactions. She had already given him upsetting news about something his parents had done so she wasn’t going to ruin it conning Jayce either. ”I know you two have never gotten along but he did think he lost you. He actually went out there trying to find your bod-you. He went out trying to find you when everything happened.” Lexi had to keep reminding herself not to say things certain ways but it was difficult after three years of it. Feeling so distant was not something she enjoyed. She didn’t want to presume something and have her be wrong. She could only figure his nightmares had gotten worse but didn’t want to upset him. Her gaze dropped again for a moment before she looked back up. ”I know but I also want to spend as much time with you as possible.” Lexi shouldn’t have to be embarrassed for telling her husband how she felt but she did. It’s like they were starting new again and she was the little geek girl trying to impress the popular jock. In this case it was because they had both changed over the last few years. Lexi hoped he still loved every facet of her like he once did. Already she could tell much of the Dean she fell in love with was still there. And much of who she was before was still there, just she had to stop hiding herself away. Lexi nodded very gently. ”I know it is. We just have to take it a step at a time I guess.” It sounds so dumb when other people said it and sounded dumb now but it was the best way to describe everything. Each of them had taken two different paths the last few years and had different expectations. Now they had to find some sort of middle ground with one another. Lexi couldn’t keep pulling away just because her nerves were making her do crazy things. They had been together since they were fifteen. Even with the time apart, that still meant something and she shouldn’t have reason to be nervous around him. Not ever. Lexi hadn’t wanted to tell him everything but it was bound to come out eventually. Better now then never it seemed. She felt bad for the things she had said about his parents but it was the truth. Lexi had never been one to outright lie but occasionally hold something back. Like her relationship she had carried on with Jayce. That would be kept to herself for now. And she would’ve kept everything about his parents to himself but she accidentally let that go with her little freak out earlier. The cat was out of the bag and there was no way to shove it back in. Lexi just hoped they wouldn’t be too mad at her for telling Dean. She’d find out if they called her cellphone but she had to guess they would be since they hadn’t told her Dean was back. Obviously they didn’t want the two back together. That really hurt. A heavy sigh left Lexi’s lips as she shook her head against his chest. ”You’ve already apologized. You’re home now and that’s all that matters to me. I finally have you home again.” The arm not holding his hand squeezed tighter around Dean while she buried her face against his chest. More of her emotions threatened to spill over but she kept them pressed back the best she could. ”Yeah but you’re the one who deserves to be fussed over, not me.” For the moment Lexi was too content to be bothered to look upwards at Dean. Instead she relished in the moment being pressed against him like so. She could tell his muscles had hardened more along his chest and arms. Not that he wasn’t defined before but being out there had to have given him a bit of a “work out” if you will. And Lexi could feel the results of that. A flinch traveled along her body. It shouldn’t surprise her that they wanted him to stay with them but yet it did. And the hurt was still there. Lexi untangled their hands and pushed herself upwards to look Dean eye to eye. ”So you get found and instead of staying around with your family you decide to just come here because of what? Me?” it shouldn’t surprise Lexi but it did a bit. She figured he would have wanted to stay around his parents, at least for a little while. After he answered her, she moved to crawl into his lap and wrap her arms around his neck. She wasn’t straddling him so nothing really “sexual” but sat sideways and moved to hold him. Lexi buried her face in the crook of his neck and she didn’t want to let Dean go for anything. She finally had her husband back and her heart was swelling with the joy from that. Her grip was tight as she sat this close to him for who knows how many minutes but it wasn’t extremely long. With a that practically pounded out of her chest, Lexi peeled herself away from Dean. Her eyes bore down into his where the tiniest hint of a smile played in her eyes. ”Why don’t we try this again Remy.” Lexi leaned forward to simple press her forward to his a moment, the tip of her nose rubbing against his. Her arms stilled wrapped around his neck but not as tight as before. After a few seconds, Lexi lowered her mouth to Dean’s in a tender kiss. One where neither of them were taken by surprise and things weren’t so tense. It felt so good to be kissing him once again. She felt that light hearted feeling she used to have when she kissed him. Lexi felt absolutely dizzy as their lips moved together while she allowed it to deepen slightly before the kiss was broken. Lexi’s eyes remained closed to soak in the moment. ”God, I really missed you, Remy. Everything about you.” tag: dean outfit: click! lyric credit: everly notes: UNFINISHED

credit to BABY DARLING ! @ caution 2.0

[DEAN GRAYSON BLACKWELL]

LETTHERAINWASHAWAYALLTHEPAINOFYESTERDAY
BACKWHEREIBELONGINEVERFELTSOSTRONG
T E L L T H E W O R L D T H A T I M C O M I N G H O M E

lexi was so sweet, of course she would be worried more about him than herself. it was one of the reasons dean had fallen for her, though. her amazingly sweet and loving personality. he loved her so much, even more for having been apart for three years. he listened to her talk, reminding himself to pay attention to what she was saying, instead of focusing on the sound of her voice. dean had missed that the most. it probably shouldn't have, but the fact that jayce went to look for him after the accident surprised him. they were family, though, so any past disagreements or grudges would be forgotten at that point, obviously. it was good to hear that his brother cared that much to go and search for his body. that really meant a lot to dean, and he'd definitely make sure jayce knew that. maybe their relationship would be changed from this. for the better, of course. that means a lot, he replied, the expression on his face showing that he meant it. he didn't hate his brother, after all. they just didn't have the best of relationships.

dean wished they could return to business as usual right away, but he also knew that would never work. both of them had changed, though perhaps not too drastically. even so, rushing wouldn't help things get back to normal any faster. he just had to be patient. a smile touched his lips and he nodded in agreement. me too. dean couldn't help noticing the fact that lexi seemed almost embarrassed to tell him. he wished she didn't feel that she needed to be, but it was only natural, he supposed. he thought about saying something about it; telling her there was really no need to be embarrassed around him, but if he knew his wife, it would only make her more uncomfortable. so he chose to refrain.

i agree, he replied, knowing that lexi was right. i'll do anything i have to to make us work again. i don't care how slow we have to go or how long it takes. you are still my whole world, alexandria. dean rarely used her full name, only in serious situations such as this one. normally it was 'alex', 'lexi' or 'sweet pea', since 'alexandria' sounded more formal to him. he still loved the woman sitting in front of him just as much as the day he'd fallen for her. no, more; so much more. especially with all the things they'd gone through together. coming out of this, dean knew their relationship would only be strengthened by it.

i'm glad to be back home, too, he replied, smiling at how obvious that statement was. he felt her arms tighten around him and automatically did the same, though not too tight, as he didn't want to hurt her. dean couldn't resist placing a gentle kiss on the top of her head, then placing his cheek there as he closed his eyes, enjoying their embrace. he let out a laugh when he heard her reply, shaking his head a little. i have missed you so much, woman. however ridiculous her statement was, he decided to let it slide, for now. lexi was definitely the one in need of some major fussing over, and he planned to do so, as soon as possible. he just needed a bit of time to adjust to a regular life.

dean felt when she flinched against him. they were so close, it would have been impossible for him not to. he knew why, since lexi had done so when he mentioned his parents wanting him to stick around with them for a while. he didn't have time to say anything, however, before she had moved to sit up and look him in the eye. the words that came out of her mouth surprised him, though. she was upset because he'd decided to come back to her right away instead of staying with his parents? dean's first reaction was to say 'seriously??' but he resisted. no. i came because i missed the seafood, his tone a bit sarcastic, but not rude. of course, baby! you're my family, too, you know, he replied with a bit of a laugh. how on earth could lexi think he'd rather staying with his family, instead of making a b-line for his wife? he loved his parents, of course, but she meant so much more to him than they ever could. once she had settled in his lap, her arms around his neck, dean moved one arm behind her, while the other came around front to rest on her thigh. her grip on him was tight, but not overly so. it was comforting to him, as well, and the time they sat their in that position was perfect.

he wondered what she was up to when she sat up, but didn't try to stop her. the questioning look left dean's face as he saw the look in lexi's eyes. his smile broadened when she called him 'remy', one of the pet names she had for him. the other was used for.. different purposes. he closed his eyes as first their foreheads, then noses, touched. he was hoping the next thing to happen would be what he was wishing for, but remained still, letting lexi take the lead. dean opened his eyes just as she placed her lips on his in a soft kiss. he resisted the urge to deepen it, though holding back was no easy thing for him to do. after a moment, his eyes closed again and he gave up on trying to hold back. dean didn't go crazy, however. he merely deepened it some, knowing that lexi would might freak again if he went too far. he couldn't help sighing a little as the kiss was broken, since he would have been happy to keep it going a while longer. but just that had been enough to suppress his want to become more intimate with her straight off. he could be patient and wait. that's what he kept telling himself, anyway.

me too, sweet pea, dean replied quietly as he took in his beautiful wife. he gently placed a hand on her cheek, and kissed her once more, this time refraining completely from deepening it. it was a shorter kiss, because he didn't want to push his luck, but he just needed to do it at least one more time that night. dean wasn't sure what time it was, at this point, but he was beginning to feel a bit tired. he wondered if lexi was as well, though he suspected it to be so. i don't know if you're tired, but.. i actually wouldn't mind heading to bed. he spoke the words a little hesitantly, hoping to make it clear that if she wasn't ready to, it was no big deal. dean also hoped she'd know he wasn't suggesting anything more than crawling into bed and cuddling with each other until they drifted off to sleep.

notes ?! <3
words ?! one one six eight
tagg ?! LEXI
wearing ?! OUTFIT
credit ?! REAL SLIM SHADY !? @ Caution 2.0
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[ALEXANDRIA LEAH CROSS]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(http://i56.tinypic.com/2zgu9hc.jpg); width: 440px; padding-top:10px;] the girl in the moon --- Lexi hoped that maybe now Dean and Jayce could have a better relationship. What concerned her is when everything about what she had been doing with Jayce came out. That could be a bit awkward to handle and maybe set them back even more then they were now. She'd just feel even more terrible about it but Lexi couldn't voice that just yet. First, she wanted Dean to get a bit better and readjusted to life around here before dropping a huge bomb like that on him. Hopefully she was able to tell him on her own terms. That on top of everything else she hoped could happen with them. Lexi just wanted her husband back. She wanted their marriage as she remembered it back in it's entirety. Yes, it'd be a difficult process and a lot of things that may hurt would be revealed but Lexi would fight her way back to them. For them. Lexi didn't even know why she was being so self conscious about things. Dean had seen her in much worse states. After she had delivered their son, she had been a wreck. Having to go through the whole delivery had just made her sink into a deep depression. She hardly left her bed except to do anything in the bathroom. She probably wouldn't have eaten if it weren't for Daniel, Dean, Jayce and her mother each forcing her to. The first couple days they literally had to force feed her as she'd just fight it. That wad worse off then this moment of confessing what she felt for her husband. Telling him what she thought and felt had been something she once did on a regular basis. Part of getting back to them was being able to tell him those things with ease again. She knew it would happen eventually, just she hoped it was sooner rather then later. She didn't want Dean to think she didn't care about him after all. Lexi smiled at Dean, her heart feeling light as she felt the tension ease up a bit. ”I know you would, Dean, but really the only thing I ask is you be patient. I may have more reactions like the earlier one but it's not you at all. I promise." Lexi didn't want him to think she was acting the way she was because she didn't want to be near him. Ni, just get body and mind had to catch up to what her heart wanted. That would take a bit of time but hopefully not too long. Lexi liked being curled up against him like she was now. She didn't want to ruin it by always having a panic attack. That wouldn't be fair to Dean. He was doing everything possible to go at the pace she wanted despite him clearly wanting a bit more. At least this time she didn't have a full blown freak out when she felt the pressure of his lips on the top of her head. That was a definite step in the right direction, however small. Nor did she try to move away as he held her a bit closer. While Lexi was glad Dean had come to Maine to see her, at first she thought he would've hated her. She had left their entire life-the life he remembered-behind without much thought. Of course it had killed her to leave but it was better then dealing with the police, his parents and the memories. Oh the memories that place held killed her. To Lexi it felt like everywhere she went had some memory of Dean. Even when she first came back to Hope Harbor it had been difficult but they hadn't lived here as a family. No nursery had been set up, then taken down, and her husband hadn't gone missing from here. But she knew he didn't know all those reasons. Guessed, maybe, but didn't know for sure. Lexi's gaze dropped down and her cheeks flushed shamefully. ”I just guess, at first, I thought you'd be upset that I left LA and that I hadn't shown up when you were found. I know it sounds dumb because that's not like you but..." Lexi shrugged a bit as she drew in a sharp breath of air, still unable to loom at him as she fiddled with his collar. ”I guess I'm just used to most people being upset at how I handle some aspect or another of everything from that event." Everyone always had an opinion of things. Some she could ignore but not all. Some just cut too deep to be ignored. Lexi was glad that Dean didn't try to rush what she was doing. She needed to ease into this on her own. Her eyes scanned over his entire visage before she entrapped his lips with her own. While she was trying to take things somewhat slow, she was glad to feel his arms around her waist tighten a bit as they kissed. And she loved how Dean moved to deepen the moment between them. Her insides were tense that maybe things might get rushed but she could also tell he was holding back. Even if she was unsure of some things with him, like his nightmares, Lexi could still read his body. The way his arms felt against her back showed he was trying to keep his hands in place. There was a slight tension but nothing bad, just one of self control. Lexi leaned into Dean's touch once more, nuzzling against his palm a bit as her eyes drifted shut slightly. When he initiated this kiss, she didn't freak out this time. Now she was prepared for the close contact with him, though this time had been much briefer. Lexi rubbed at the upper half of his arms as she moved her head from his own. ”We can get some sleep. Do you have something to wear or should I go grab something of Dean's?" Lexi herself thought over in her head what she had to wear to bed. Most of her night things now consisted of things she had bought to seduce Jayce. Half of it she had yet to wear but knew she couldn't wear them to bed tonight. She knew she had a couple nightgowns somewhere and some sleep pants as well. Lexi knew he wouldn't push her just she felt more comfortable being covered up. Lexi peeled away from Dean and smoothed out her dress before she walked to the walk-in closet. She pulled out a drawer from her dresser and shoved the flimsier outfits to the back. Once she found some suitable sleepwear, she gathered them up and went into the bathroom to change as well as do what she needed to in there. When she stepped out she wore a dark blue sleep shirt which went nearly to her knees and underneath it were sleep shorts, though they weren't visible. She still had on her rings but all other jewelry was off. Her face was scrubbed clean, teeth brushed and hair released from how it was, now brushed through. Lexi rubbed some lotion into her hands, mainly for something to do with them. She was a bit nervous. Yes, nervous was the best word to describe Lexi though overall she was anxious. She pulled back the covers of the bed as the maids did them all each day. Lexi crawled into the bed and debated on grabbing the pillow she normally cuddled close. Since she had Dean back it was irrelevant, right? Not sure she placed it on the floor beside her bed before she settled back to lean against her pillows, lost un thought as she rubbed her hands together and barely even noticed Dean once he was ready. Only when she noticed him did she snap out of it. ”Oh um so we can go get some of the pillows you like tomorrow if you want then get whatever else you need. Hopefully tonight all of this will do..." her words were light and filled with nerves as she looked from the empty space beside her to him. Truly, Lexi wanted to fall asleep beside him just it was a huge change. She had just gotten used to sleeping alone with only the occasional night with a companion. Now it'd be back to nightly and she hoped to not be so tense and awkward for so long. tag: dean outfit: click! lyric credit: everly notes: UNFINISHED

credit to BABY DARLING ! @ caution 2.0

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[DEAN GRAYSON BLACKWELL]

LETTHERAINWASHAWAYALLTHEPAINOFYESTERDAY
BACKWHEREIBELONGINEVERFELTSOSTRONG
T E L L T H E W O R L D T H A T I M C O M I N G H O M E

dean smiled back at lexi, glad to see her looking a bit more relaxed and happy. alright then. i will try my hardest to do just that, he told her, though he wasn't sure how long he would last. but he would still try. he nodded at her next words. i understand. it's an adjustment, but we'll get through it. if or when lexi had one of her breakdowns again, dean would probably give her a little bit of space. maybe he should have done so before, but he really hadn't been thinking about it, just reacted. he brought his attention back to the way they were cuddled up together and liked the fact that she wasn't pulling away or even tensing up. maybe things would get back to normal faster than he thought. just maybe.

dean hadn't, as of yet, really thought about why lexi had moved back to maine. of course, when he'd first got back it had surprised him to find that she wasn't there, but after that he hadn't given much thought to anything other than getting back to her, no matter where she was. now that the subject had been brought up, though, dean thought he could guess why she had. their house had held all sorts of memories that she couldn't handle, having thought he was dead, so maine almost seemed like a fresh start. dean listened to lexi's concerns, a little surprised that that's what she'd been thinking. he started shaking his head even before she'd finished. when she had, dean used a finger to gently lift her head so they were eye to eye. i'm definitely not upset with you, and wasn't even when i found out. you had good reasons, i know, without you even telling me what they were, because i know you, he said with a laugh. and as far as everyone else goes, screw them and their opinions. the way he said it sounded a little harsh, but he was more than frustrated with his parents and anyone else who'd given her grief. dean only wished he could have been there for her. no one knew just how much he hated himself for the fact he'd gone out that day.

he was glad that lexi had taken the latest kiss well. had he pushed it a little further, she might have, so it was a good thing he hadn't. dean knew it would be selfish to do so, anyway, so that was another reason why not to. uh.. yeah. mom and dad bought me some clothes. even though his time their had been brief, his parents worked quick. they hadn't gotten him anything fancy, just a few casual outfits, underclothes, and a couple sets of pajamas. dean would have bought them himself, but obviously he was a little short on cash, so it couldn't be helped. he made sure that they didn't get him more than was necessary for the time being or they probably would have bought him a complete wardrobe.

dean released his hold on lexi has she moved to stand up, watching as she smoothed out her dress and headed for the closet. hey, he could look, couldn't he? soon he realized he was staring and quickly snapped out of it before he got caught. stretching a little as he stood, dean walked into the other room to where his bag was and searched through it to find his pajamas. it was then he remembered that he hadn't thought to buy a toothbrush and hoped they'd have extras. most people did, so he wasn't too worried about it.

he walked into the adjoining bathroom, dropping a blue cotton shirt and black pajama pants on the floor and closing the door. dean was still trying to get used to seeing his reflection in the mirror, having gone three years without one. since getting back, he'd gotten a hair cut, but it was still pretty long. he didn't mind, since he was used to it by now. in fact, he found he preferred it. short hair would just feel weird at this point. dean glanced at himself briefly, then proceeded to open the cupboards, looking for a toothbrush. he found an open package of them and took one out, setting next to the sink. then he stripped down to his boxers and pulled on the t-shirt and pants. he ran his fingers through his hair, then thoroughly brushed his teeth. it was nice to have a real toothbrush and actual toothpaste finally.

after washing up a little, dean walked back into lexi's bedroom, feeling refreshed. she was laying in bed, wearing a long nightshirt that hung a little above her knees. he'd been wondering what she'd wear, knowing it wouldn't be skimpy, but glad that she hadn't chosen to cover up completely. it was a simple, attractive outfit that she looked great in. dean had slid his hands into his pockets and slowly walked into the room. lexi wasn't aware of him yet, and that was fine. he was enjoying just watching her. he smiled when she finally looked at him, nodding at what she said. all this is more than enough, he reassured her. dean hesitated before joining her in bed, however. was it really such a good idea? he wanted to, of course, but how would lexi handle it? she already sounded nervous, and he didn't want to cause her more stress. are you sure about this? he asked, scratching the back of his neck, a doubtful expression on his face. i mean, i can sleep on the couch or.. the floor. even the other bedroom. dean would rather sleep in the same room, however, since it was still hard for him to be alone, and he probably wouldn't sleep. lying on the couch or the floor didn't sound bad to him, considering where he'd been sleeping for the past few years, and hopefully lexi would realize that for him it wouldn't be so bad.

UNFINISHED

notes ?! <3
words ?! nine nine six
tagg ?! LEXI
wearing ?! OUTFIT
credit ?! REAL SLIM SHADY !? @ Caution 2.0
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