I Won't Give Up - Haven

[HAVEN MARGARET STOWE]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style,width: 350px; padding: 10px; background-image: url(http://i48.tinypic.com/4v3fjd.png);] I wanna know you inside out, I’ll spend my life trying to figure out Haven was kind of glad she didn’t have so many people to tell about the engagement. Then her and louis could really keep it about them and the ones they cared about. But, yes, kylie would be a challenge. Even though haven’s little sister supported her, she also knew kylie had reservations about louis. Understandable considering she knew everything that has transpired. Haven had been trying to convince kylie that louis wouldn’t leave this time but it was a sister thing-they worried about one another. Just like haven worried about kylie and cameron and was trying to figure out how to get them to fix things. Well, now she had the perfect way with the engagement just it was getting kylie back here to maine sooner rather then later. Haven just wanted her whole “family” on good terms. she wanted kylie and cameron to fix htings. She wanted kylie to like louis as well so everyone could be happy together. Not having anyone besides kylie for blood family she wanted to keep those close to her as close as possible for as long as possible. Louis and kylie had careers that took them all over the place. When everyone was in the same place at once, she wanted everyone to be able to get along and enjoy themselves, not be tense. Sure it might be asking for a lot but even if people just were polite haven would be happy. Still, she could dream of everyone getting along. Having a small wedding was sort of the furthest thing from her thoughts really. There was so much more besides that. The way her brows pulled together and her lips pursed together as she nodded at louis agreeing to a small wedding showed there was amore. Haven knew she had to let up. Louis had been trying immensely since they got back together and she needed to as well. She had to stop internalizing so many things and just let it all out. ”no it’s not really that. Well, kind of but if you want ot invite all your family we can. Just…” gosh haven really didn’t want to ruin this moment! Especially since it’d be the last time they’d see each other for a week. Haven stowe-always the worrywart. ”I just realized I won’t have parents to plan with me. No mom to take me dress shopping or a dad ot walk me down the aisle. Aside from kylie and a few friends, I don’t have anyone. Aside from discussions we’ve had, I never gave much serious thought to a wedding as a little girl. Now that the moment sank in I realized I don’t really haven anyone.” haven’s voice was barely a whisper so she could keep herself from breaking down. Haven could have a conversation without turning into a weeping mess. despite how passionate haven and louis were in expressing their love, haven lived for the tender moments as well. Not just after they had been together but even just lounging in the living room, curled up together as she read and he worked on some music or a sketch. Haven just enjoyed to be close to louis. Sure one could be emotionally close and be apart but haven liked being physically close to louis. To be able to hug him and touch him-to feel their heartbeats drum in time with one another and their breaths mingle. Never would they be apart again like they had been once before haven had been a wreck and just a shell of who she was. Haven couldn’t exist as she was truly meant ot be without louis and vice versa. They were truly one another’s other halves and complimented each other. They supported one another’s dreams and always felt a strong connection to one another. Before louis, and during their time apart, those who knew haven could tell she just wasn’t a full of life. She was a ghost drifting through this silly thing called life. With louis he filled her soul with light and joy-just made everything brighter. He brought that sparkle out in her eyes that made her seem so full of life. Haven’s breath caught as louis held her face gently but kissed her passionately. She loved how he could do that-be so gentle yet so passionate all at once. She gasped for air when they parted despite not wanting to stop the moment. She wanted to freeze moments like this, especially with the minutes inching closer to louis leaving. Haven saw the love in louis’ eyes as he spoke those words to her. If people knew how louis could come off most other times, they might be surprised to see him so sweet with haven like thus. Even if no one else saw it, she could see the pure love that he radiated for her. ”I know you say that but my past is what has shaped me, louis. Just I guess I always feel a little surprise thinking about how you never cared about it, especially after that first night…” haven knew louis loved her but the abuse she had endured still caused issues to this day. many people could see it with how she struggled with her eating habits. Then a select handful saw if they had been in this house while she had a nightmare. And then only louis really knew everything from the details to how it effected how she was with people-even him. Kylie knew some but would never know everything. Only louis would as far as she could tell. notes: well then... - tags: louis - outfit: click!

[LOUIS ARDEN FITCH]

[/color] Louis couldn't very well get married without his bandmates. And if he didn't invite his bandmates the only people that would be there from his side, were his parents. Which wasn't bad. But he knew the guys would be hurt if he didn't invite them. Besides, outside of Haven and his parents, they were the people he was closest to.

Louis continued to listen, with sympathy as Haven went on, speaking so softly, he knew she was holding back a flood of emotions. His heart ached for her. Louis stroked her back gently, in an attempt to assure that everything would be okay. Louis wanted this to be a happy occasion for her, but he understood how these things could weigh on her. Oh....babe. Louis said softly and kissed the top of her head tenderly. I'm sorry...I know this is hard for you. He didn't really know what to say. What was one supposed to say to a young woman in her situation? Haven's life had been harder then 98 % of women's these days, and it had pretty much robbed her of everything, including him for a time. I know it's different...but you'll always have me and Kylie and my parents....And they're the next best thing, right? Louis was trying hard, but he knew his words were insufficient. Kissing her head again, Louis grabbed handfuls of her hair, and titled her head back to kiss her on the lips. We'll get through this together....You can lean on my every step of the way. He made sure to assure her.

Haven mentioned their first night. He'd never forget it. She'd nearly scared the life out of him. But that was the night that Louis realized just how much he as in love with Haven Stowe. That night is what made me realize just how madly in love with you I was...Haven...I knew you needed someone....That you needed me. All I ever wanted was to be in love with and be loved by someone who really needed me. Someone I could be a help to....And so that night, I decided I'd do whatever I had to help you. Louis wasn't trying to make it sounded like she was a charity case, or that he thought she was helpless without him. Louis was just saying that he loved taking care of her. I know that... He said softly, when she said her past was what shaped her. But look how far you've come hun. Louis said encouragingly. You could have let it get to you and keep you from accomplishing what you truly wanted in life. But you didn't. You put yourself through college, you opened up your own flower shop, you bought and remodeled this beautiful house... Louis put his finger under her chin and gently tilted her head up, making her look him in the eyes. You did it...All on your own. In spite of everyone and everything....That's why I say, your past doesn't matter anymore Haven. You're not the abused child anymore...leave that in your past babe. Because who you are today is the most successful, most beautiful, most loving woman in the world...And I am so proud of you and just bursting with joy and pride that you're going to be my wife. Louis said with sweet enthusiasm, holding back his own tears now. Don't you let anyone tell you that you are anyone or anything other than Haven Stowe. And Haven Stowe is her own individual, free from anyone else's influence. Louis had always been to build Haven up whens he was down. But he didn't do it with idle, meaningless words that just sounded good. Louis did it with words that were true and honest and kind and pure and loving.[/ul][/size]

[HAVEN MARGARET STOWE]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style,width: 350px; padding: 10px; background-image: url(http://i48.tinypic.com/4v3fjd.png);] I wanna know you inside out, I’ll spend my life trying to figure out Well at least that took care of having a small wedding part. Haven wasn’t a girl who liked to have anything showy anyways. The simpler the better. Then it was getting past her stormy emotions. Honestly haven was trying not to think the way she did half the time but she couldn’t happen-it still happened. These thoughts that downed her just crept right in and she knew talking about them would worry louis. She could tell by his face right now. This is why she tried to keep things in but with louis she often failed. She pressed into his touch as he gently moved his hands along her back. Her face screwed up at his words. She knew he was trying to help but having kylie and his parents just was not the same. ”I know I do louis but it’s not the same as having parents who raised and loved you there.” the closest things she had to parents were still in jail. Honestly, haven had been thinking of seeking them out. She remembered their names so it wouldn’t be too hard she figured but haven hadn’t shared that with anyone-not even louis-as she was still unsure if she wanted to or not. haven really didn’t want to talk about the subject much more. She hadn’t meant to bring it up in the first place. The next conversation isn’t that much better. For a moment her back stiffened at the way louis had worded his thoughts. She was able to figure out what he really meant but the way it did still made her a little uncomfortable. Instead she decided to chuckle and make a joke out of it. ”oh so I started out as a charity case, hm? That’s good to know. At least now that I know that I know to be careful of all the other lonely souls at your concerts.” louis had a habit of knowing the right things to say. He made her feel so much more at ease in the moment. He was right, she had come a lot farther then many kids from the system did. Then again she had the drive while many kids didn’t and she was appreciative of every opportunity given to her. Even the opportunity of meeting louis though that wasn’t the best word to describe the situation. ”I love you so very much but you always put me on such a high pedestal, louis.” he always saw haven as more then she could ever see herself but his words were often just what was needed to help her out. She rolled them so she could lay on top of him and laid her chin on his chest. A finger drew idle patterns along his torso. ”speaking of kids, how soon after the wedding did you want to star trying? Or did you want to wait until the major part of the touring was over?” haven just wanted to keep talking to louis and her favorite subject was talking about their future. notes: well then... - tags: louis - outfit: click!

[LOUIS ARDEN FITCH]

[/color] Louis said softly and kissed the top of Haven's head. There wasn't really anything that Louis could say to make her feel better in this case. The best he could do, was understand where she was coming from on this, and encourage hr that they would get through it and hope that she'd still enjoy it all. I wish there was something I could do to make it all better babe. Louis told her. He hoped that comment wouldn't make her more upset. It was just the truth. If Louis could somehow change things for Haven, make them better, ensure that her parents were there for her....well he'd give up just about anything.

Louis wrinkled up his nose at her and shook his head. Oh! Now you know that's not what I meant! He gave her a playful shove. Louis really hadn't meant to make her feel lie a charity case, or make her think that he viewed her as such. Nothing could be further from the truth. You're such a little vixen sometimes! He said, grabbing her ribs in such a way that would cause a tickling sensation.

Louis shook his head and brushed the back of his hand against her cheek. That pedestal is where you belong babe. He said, barely above a whisper. I wish you could see yourself the way I see you. Louis told her, smiling sweetly. At the same time, he was glad she couldn't though. Because part of what made Haven so special and so beautiful, was her inability to see herself as she truly ways. Her humility and in a way vulnerability, made her all the more appealing. Most people didn't to see the vulnerable side of Haven. Most people just got to see the "Don't mess with me or your screwed" side of Haven. Louis was counted among the lucky few.

Louis closed his eyes and tilted his head, thinking when she started talking about children. He knew he wanted children....lots of them. But he'd never really thought about when exactly he wanted to start. Waiting for most of the tour to be over, was really irrelevant to Louis. He wasn't the one who would be carrying their child. That was Haven's department. So it was really up to her. But Louis didn't say that, because it made it sound like he didn't really care. Well...what are your thoughts on it? He asked. Louis wanted to make an informed decision here and the only way to do that, was to hear Haven's side of it first. Isn't it so weird to think of having our own children? Being legitimately settled and raising our own family? But a good weird I mean...Like surreal I guess, is a better way to describe it. Louis shrugged lightly. [/ul][/size]

[HAVEN MARGARET STOWE]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style,width: 350px; padding: 10px; background-image: url(http://i48.tinypic.com/4v3fjd.png);] I wanna know you inside out, I’ll spend my life trying to figure out Haven nuzzled against louis as he kissed the top of her head. She just wanted to move past this moment for the time being. It was hard and she wanted to just be happy in the moment. ”it’s fine but I don’t want to think about it anymore. I want to think about how I am going to force you to wear a tux.” a wide grin formed as she turned to look upwards at louis. Actually she had no idea if she wanted tuxes or not. Probably not. That just wouldn’t be her louis if he was in a tux though she knew he’d be handsome either way. With how her and louis were it would be a wonder if they got through the reception without sneaking off somewhere. Her laughter only grew with her teasing of louis and his reaction. It was a hearty laugh as she rolled onto her back and looked up at him. ”that may not be how you meant it but that’s how it came out mister! Now I have something else to tease you about the rest of our lives.” she tried to swat his hands away as he tickled at her sides, her laughter increasing. ”I am not responsible for any bodily harmed sustained in this assault!” then she moved-while louis was still ticking her-to bend at the waist and tickle behind his knees where he was ticklish. She bit down on her lower lip as they both went about trying to top the other. Haven loved how easily they could move from a topic so heavy to something light and fun. Haven loved the little things louis said to bring a smile to her face. He was so passionate about things-about her. She barely even had half that passion but he never seemed to care because she loved him entirely and only him. Haven adored him entirely. He was more then she ever wanted. He was extremely sweet in general and kind. And so very talented in many ways. There were days she liked to just sit or lay down and watch him as he wrote some new lyrics of sketched. When inspiration really hit him haven noticed how relaxed he seemed. When he was stuck there was a way his whole brow furrowed and he rubbed at his temple or chin contemplating things. Haven loved those moments because she always found something else about him she loved whole heartedly. Haven bit down on her lip, hoping she hadn’t spoken too soon about having children but it wasn’t out of left field. The two had talked about having children before now. with me or your screwed" side of Haven. Louis was counted among the lucky few. Then again the way she worded it was probably not the best way. she mentally beat herself up for a moment. Her lips pressed together in thought when he redirected the question back at her and she chuckled. ”I hadn’t thought about it recently. It was partially passing because I-” haven bit down on her lip a moment before she slowly slid her teeth along it to release it. ”I plan to go see a dietician this week while you’re gone. I have an appointment Monday. We plan to do tests and then we scheduled an appointment Friday to go over everything.” haven hadn’t wanted to tell him because she didn’t want to worry while he was in new york but one test was an endoscope and the preparation for it was, well, a process and she already planned things out. ”I already have everything planned. Jesse will be going with me so I won’t be alone. I’m going to ask cameron too since he’s a doctor and would know more questions to ask if that’s alright with you?” haven would really love to have cameron there to help her since she froze up at doctor’s offices so he’d be of great help to her. Haven laughed as she curled up closer to him. ”mmm kind of weird but yes like you said, a good weird. But don’t forget we have to adopt at least one kid and they have to be at least six.” haven had always wanted to adopt one or two children and had never budged on that thought nor did she plan to. notes: well then... - tags: louis - outfit: click!

[LOUIS ARDEN FITCH]

[/color] he protested. Louis wasn't totally opposed to a tuxedo. He had had to wear one for an award ceremony before. But it just wasn't his style and since a wedding was a very personal event, or at least, Haven and Louis' would be, he wanted something that reflected his personal style. But whatever Haven wanted, he would do. Louis just wanted Haven to be happy with the result.

I can never live anything down with you! Louis laughed and tickled her all the more. Owww! Stop it now! He playfully complained as she swatted at him, trying to making him stop tickling her so hard. Well! We'll have to see what my lawyer has to say about that! He said and went to reach to tickle her ribs, but she had leaned over quickly and now had her thing fingers behind his knees. Louis' legs kicked uncontrollably as high pitched laughter escaped his lips. Oh! You gotta stop! You gotta stop! He begged and when she did, Louis sat up, panting for a few moments, before he grabbed her and began to tickle her thighs. I can't believe you fell for that! He teased

Louis sat up and looked at her, blinking with a bit of surprise when she talked about going to see a dietitian while he was gone. Jesse was going with her? Well that was good. And she wanted Cameron to go. Louis didn't really have a problem with that. He knew that Haven and Cameron had become very close in Kylie and Louis' absence.Um..a dietitian? Yeah..that's good, right? I mean....there's no problem's right...You're just doing it to get on an eating schedule to help things along with getting pregnant right? he scratched his head. I mean...you're okay? He asked, looking somewhat worried. It wasn't like Haven to do this on her own. It was more likely that Louis would have had to drag her there kicking and screaming. But he was glad she was doing it. It would be good for her. He just wanted to make sure she wasn't doing it to confirm that she was really sick, or to get on a schedule that would help with a disease or something. Haven had really caught him off guard. Which was hard to do, because he knew her so very well. I don't mind if Cameron goes. Louis smiled and kissed her cheek. Thanks for asking. If Haven had just asserted that Cameron was going with her, Louis might have found it odd, but he wouldn't have been upset by it. However, he was glad that she had asked. When they did that type of thing, it showed their mutual respect for one another. Besides that, they trusted one another completely. Louis would never search for an ulterior motive in Haven's wanting Cameron there.

Louis smiled when Haven talked about adoption and rested his hand on the side of her face, letting his thumb run over her cheek bone. He knew how important that was to her, having been raised in foster homes, and because it was so important to her, it was very important to him as well. At least, one. Louis agreed, nodding his head. Probably more...many more. Louis wanted to have their own children, yes. But he also wanted to help children who didn't have parents or stable homes. He wasn't afraid of having a huge family. They could always build onto the house if they outgrew it. It wasn't like they didn't have the money to do all of it. There were some very special things ahead for Haven and Louis, and probably wouldn't take place too long after their wedding. My only request is that we have at least one of our own before we adopt. Louis told her. He wanted to be his first experience with a child that would call him "Daddy", one that was his own flesh and blood. Maybe it sounded odd or selfish. But it was just how he'd always wanted to do it. He didn't think that Haven would have a problem with that. How about this....we just won't use any protection, that way we're not trying to prevent pregnancy, and let nature take its course.. Okay? Louis asked. This was of course all to start after their nuptials. Louis pulled her close and began to kiss her passionately. [/ul][/size]