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Post by LEILA ANN ZAKARIAN on Dec 20, 2012 1:02:17 GMT -5
| [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,10,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(http://i56.tinypic.com/2zgu9hc.jpg); width: 400px; padding-top:10px;][cs=2] THE STORY OF WHO I AM` SO MANY STORIES OF WHERE I‘VE BEEN. AND HOW I GOT TO WHERE I AM. BUT THESE STORIES DON’T MEAN ANYTHING, WHEN YOU’VE GOT NO ONE TO TELL THEM
TO. IT’S TRUE, I WAS MADE FOR- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - you | | [atrb=width,240][atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,10,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(http://i56.tinypic.com/2zgu9hc.jpg); width: 240px; padding-top:10px;]
Leila was in and out of consciousness as she laid in her room at Hope Harbor County. Only her immediate family and Reagan knew she was here. Not even Daniel knew. When she was lucid, Leila felt guilty about that but he had no clue about her endometriosis yet. Especially that her condition was so bad that the worst bouts of pain sent her to the hospital for a morphine drip. Just the pills didn’t work and besides, she had to take it exactly as often as the bottle said. That meant she was bed ridden and morphine had a tendency to suppress her ability to breathe when she took that much. At least in the hospital they could monitor how much medication she got as well as her breathing. It was just very lonely for her.
Sure, her family visited but they all had school and their jobs as well. They couldn’t stay around with her all day long. Mostly she slept to pass the time. When she was able to stay awake long enough, Reagan would visit with her or she’d watch something on the television. Today had been spent mostly sleeping since it was only her second day in. her pain was starting to go down so hopefully she didn’t have to stay much longer. Her average stretch was three or four days. One good thing was just got to wear her own clothing. Of course, she usually wore something she didn’t care about in case for some reason they had to cut her clothing. Not that that had happened to her at any point. Reagan said he likely hood of that even happening to her was slim which is why they let her wear what she wanted. Plus, with her condition it was best she got to be comfortable or else they’d have an even grumpier patient.
After she had taken one of her walks around the corridor, Leila was back in her room. She didn’t want to get right back into bed. Despite her head feeling fogged down, she clutched onto her IV pole while she stared out the window. Her lunch would be coming soon and if she crawled into her bed now, she’d just fall asleep. Despite most of her body being numb, she knew she had to eat.
This was the last month she had to deal with this much pain. She was all done having her eggs harvested so she could go on birth control. Actually, she had already started it. They settled on the pill since most of the other options she couldn’t do unless she had been pregnant. Leila just laughed but agreed anyways. The doctors had already had her start them. She was able to skip the placebo week so she didn’t keep having issues like this. Then Daniel wouldn’t get suspicious if she kept being sick for three months straight and she could wait a little longer to tell him. She was only waiting because she was scared he wouldn’t want to deal with it this early in a relationship. They had already dealt with enough with Alex. It had been almost a month and they still had yet to speak. Just thinking about that day brought tears to her eyes. There were moments she still cried about it when alone. What made it worse was finding his note when she got him. He had just left because he couldn’t be around her. She wasn’t a fool. He was disappointed in her and ashamed. Honestly, she couldn’t blame him. He had caught her and Daniel screwing in the shower. Not exactly the image you wanted of your best friend and sister. What made it worse is they had hid it from him for over a month. She knew that was the biggest issue. Alex hated when people kept things from him. And the two most important people in his life aside from their parents had kept a giant secret from him.
The knock at the door snapped Leila out of her trance. ”Come in,” she called out in her cracking voice. While her left hand gripped at the pole, the opposite one went under her eyes to wipe away the tears. Though she knew most people would assume she was in pain, it was still hard for her to have anyone see her cry. That day Daniel had seen her but that was because her big brother had broken her heart by walking out on her without fixing things. Leila and him just didn’t do that. They could always fix things. Always.
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Post by alex on Jan 6, 2013 19:06:07 GMT -5
theres a thunder in our hearts baby  so much hate for the ones we love TAG: Leila OUTFIT: HERE ONE LAST THING: 535 WORDS Despite Alex still being mad at Leila – and at Daniel – Alex couldn’t deny the soft spot he had for his sister. He hated that she and Daniel – two very important people to him – had hid their relationship from him. Yeah, he hated the idea of his little sister dating his best friend – but it probably would’ve gone a lot better if they’d both been like “Hey, we have feelings for each other – and we want to see how this goes.. do you care if we date?” Yeah, it would’ve gone a lot better than him returning from three days out at Haven to find them screwing in the shower. It ate at him – the fight ate at him. Yeah, he would probably still be mad at her for a long time.. but.. as soon as he heard that his sister was in the hospital.. Alex took a break from studying. He had been staying at their uncle’s place all this time – getting ready for his bar exam. Alex went to buy her favorite flowers – and he planned on stopping by at the hospital. Only, he really hoped and prayed that she was sleeping when he went to see her. He really didn’t want to fight with her while she was sick – but he really didn’t want to talk to her just yet. So, as he entered the hospital, he braced himself for if she was in fact awake and conscious. Yes, he braced himself.
Finally, he found the room his mother and father had told him she was in – and he lightly knocked. “Come in.” is what he heard through the door. Oh shit.. He took a minute before he came in. He even went as far as thinking about walking away and coming back when she’d be sleeping.. but.. for some reason he didn’t. So, he opened the door. He waved at his sister and held up the flowers a little bit more. “I wanted to bring you these – I know they’re your favorite. I’m not going to stay long, but I wanted to bring these to you to try and brighten up your room a bit more..” He cleared his throat, doing his best not to look at her. The sight of her, truthfully, still angered him. It still hurt him. It really wasn’t even the fact that they were together – it was more of the fact that they – both of them – had kept it a secret from him for a month. So, they rather sneak around and be with each other than go public? Really? Okay – that really made Alex think god-awful things about Daniel and how he must see Leila. Who was really going to keep their relationship a secret?
“I don’t want to keep you up too long, I know you’ve had an exhausting day, so.. like I said, I just wanted to bring these by to you.. Besides, I’ve got to study anyhow.. So.. get some rest…” He put the vase of the two and a half dozen flowers on the table beside her bed so that they’d be near her, and then – still not looking at her – he turned on his heels starting to head for the door.
tell me that we both matter dont we |
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Post by LEILA ANN ZAKARIAN on Jan 6, 2013 23:25:44 GMT -5
| [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,10,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(http://i56.tinypic.com/2zgu9hc.jpg); width: 400px; padding-top:10px;][cs=2] THE STORY OF WHO I AM` SO MANY STORIES OF WHERE I‘VE BEEN. AND HOW I GOT TO WHERE I AM. BUT THESE STORIES DON’T MEAN ANYTHING, WHEN YOU’VE GOT NO ONE TO TELL THEM
TO. IT’S TRUE, I WAS MADE FOR- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - you | | [atrb=width,240][atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,10,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(http://i56.tinypic.com/2zgu9hc.jpg); width: 240px; padding-top:10px;]
When she heard the of so familiar voice of her brother, Leila’s body stiffened. She hadn’t expected him to come nor wanted him to. As he came into the room, she used the hand not clutching the IV pole to turn around with the help of the wall. After she was in a comfortable position, she watched her brother carefully. Normally she would be glad that he was here as they were close but since he caught her and Daniel they had hardly spoken. Why should she expect him to all of a sudden make an appearance? She knew her mother usually shot a text to her siblings when she was in the hospital so her brother that still lived at home knew the cover story. No one needed to know about the poor girl who may never have children naturally. Before, Alex would hold her as she cried through the pain be it the physical pain or the pain in her heart. Once she had even fallen asleep while he cradled her, like he did when they were children and she was scared. Even though he was only six years older then her, he always protected her like he was ten or fifteen years her senior. The two had a special bond of eldest brother and the only sister.
She felt the newest dose of medications kick in and her body start to go a little fuzzy. Leila willed herself to stay standing-to stay strong. Even if he brought her red and orange anemones that didn’t change anything. Those didn’t wipe away the fact he was being selfish and cruel to his sister and one of his best friends. As he spoke and moved around, she stayed deathly silent. Her mouth was nothing but a thin line, pale from sleeping more and not having fluids through her mouth but instead an IV. The color off her skin was blotchy from being mostly in bed, her medications and crying. She knew that she was a terrible sight to lay eyes upon. That’s what happened when you were bed bound for several days at a time. Still, her family came and joked when she felt up to it like nothing was wrong. If they thought it was bad, they did a good job of hiding it.
As Alex went to leave, she started to take some small steps. ”I wish you hadn’t come.” Both hands gripped at her IV pole as she shuffled back towards her bed. Tears welled up into her eyes and began to leak out of the corners, running down her cheek. She hated the medications because they made her feel so off. Not only the fuzzy feeling in her head and the numbness in her body but they enhanced her emotions. That’s why she cried so much when in here; for some reason morphine made her want to cry about things that were bothering her. Her tired eyes looked over Alex as she shook her head. ”Why would I want anything from you nor want to see you when you haven’t spoken to me in a month. you disowned me and Daniel so you know what? This goes both ways asshole. Get out and take the flowers with you.”
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Post by alex on Jan 6, 2013 23:49:55 GMT -5
theres a thunder in our hearts baby so much hate for the ones we love TAG: Leila OUTFIT: HERE ONE LAST THING: 776 WORDS “I wish you hadn’t come.” Despite everything, that hit Alex like a knife, it wasn’t until she spoke again where he felt his blood start to boil. “Why would I want anything from you nor want to see you when you haven’t spoken to me in a month. you disowned me and Daniel so you know what? This goes both ways asshole. Get out and take the flowers with you.” [/b] So it was going to be that way was it? Fine. That was perfectly fine with Alex Scott. He wasn’t going to completely rip his sister from his life until this point. Now? He hated the fact that he had even come – that he had just spent 150 dollars on these stupid flowers to try and cheer her up. F*CK that. His mind went racing, and his eyes darkened. He smirked, and shook his head. He turned back around, looking her dead in the eyes. Fine, she wanted to be a b*tch? That was fine with him. She wanted to be a wh*re? That was more fine with him. However, now it was made up in Alex’s mind that she could do these things WITHOUT him in her life. He refused to even call her his sister. Now, she was nothing more than a girl who lived with his parents and who bared his last name. F*ck him trying to be nice after she was the one who did wrong. Yeah, she was the one who did wrong. “F*ck this, Leila.” Alex said. He walked back over, and grabbed the vase of flowers. His jaw tightened as he was fixing to lose his mind. “And you know what? F*ck you. I’m so sick of this shit – me being the bad guy in your eyes when it’s YOU who did something wrong. I’m so sick of your shit – you know, you’re the one who’s f*cking my supposed best friend? You’re the one who BETRAYED my trust and kept a fcking secret from me for over a month! I have –never- kept a secret from you. NEVER. I’ve always told you EVERYTHING. I’ve always kept you informed – I’ve always been completely and totally honest – with BOTH OF YOU. And you know what? You two repay me by fcking each other behind my back. So you know what? I’m officially done. Fck me trying to be nice. Nice Alex is officially gone.” He shook his head again. “I hope he’s worth it Leila – because you’ve lost me. Officially, from this day on, I’m not your brother. Fck this. You two can stab me in the back at the same time and expect me to be nice about it? Expect me to fcking talk to both of you? Fck that. Fck you and fck him. Oh, wait, you already did that..” His blood pressure was above high. His blood pressure was fixing to hit sky high if he didn’t watch it – but of course, he didn’t. No, he didn’t.. “And what’s even worse? You don’t seem to comprehend why I’m fcking angry – and you don’t even fcking seem to be thankful that I didn’t tell mom or dad. Which, by the way, you know as well as I do if I say I have a problem with the relationship – you two are over in Mom and Dad’s eyes. YOU KNOW THAT. It doesn’t matter anymore – because I’m threw. I’m through with you, with him, with everything. Fck this. I can’t believe – after all the shit you and I have been through – after all the shit he and I have been through – and everything I’ve done for the both of you – you two would be the ones to betray me – to stab me in the god d*mned back. I KNEW coming here was a fcking mistake, spending 150 dollars on these d*mned flowers was a fcking mistake. So, you don’t want them? Fine.” With that, he threw the vase of flowers into the trashcan nearby, hearing the glass shatter. “You don’t want me here? Great! I’m leaving, and you’ll NEVER see me again – not at a birthday party or a holiday with the family or anything. I’m fcking done. Have a great life Leila, and I hope to GOD he’s fcking worth it. I hope all of this sh*t you two have done is fcking worth it. Because right now? I hate both of you. Hell, I might even move out of this country because I hate you two so fcking much right now. Bye.” With that, he turned again, headed for the door once more, fully prepared not to even look at her again or stop again. [/div] tell me that we both matter dont we [/center] |
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Post by LEILA ANN ZAKARIAN on Jan 7, 2013 0:20:47 GMT -5
| [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,10,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(http://i56.tinypic.com/2zgu9hc.jpg); width: 400px; padding-top:10px;][cs=2] THE STORY OF WHO I AM` SO MANY STORIES OF WHERE I‘VE BEEN. AND HOW I GOT TO WHERE I AM. BUT THESE STORIES DON’T MEAN ANYTHING, WHEN YOU’VE GOT NO ONE TO TELL THEM
TO. IT’S TRUE, I WAS MADE FOR- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - you | | [atrb=width,240][atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,10,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(http://i56.tinypic.com/2zgu9hc.jpg); width: 240px; padding-top:10px;]
This was the only downfall of two people having the same temper-things got out of control fast. Usually with them profanity was used very often and things were broken. If her parents suspected that something was going to explode the two of them were immediately thrown out of the house. They were not permitted to enter until things had been resolved. However they did that was their business as long as things got resolved. It was the Irish or Scottish or whatever in them. Not a whole lot anymore, but it was there, and it seemed Alex and Leila got the brunt of the temper genes. That and their father but he could mostly reign it in now.
As Alex yelled she felt the pain in her stomach getting worse. Stress and anxiety made her endometriosis act up more. One arm clamped around her stomach as she made her way to the bed and gingerly climbed in, wincing at Alex’s words. He thought she was in the wrong for keeping this a secret? Apparently he had forgotten everything they both went through in their last relationship. How hard it was to see him change from the loving brother he was to bitter and cold. How much it hurt her to realize that her first love didn’t trust her and her next big love would never leave his wife. Leila couldn’t keep up with that hurt and it’d be worse if the relationship had ever been made public. That, and with her condition, she was always cautious about everything. As the tears fell out of her eyes despite her trying to blink them back, she pressed a pillow around her midsection, wincing as she heard the glass shatter.
Leila swallowed the lump in her throat as she shook her head. ”Apparently you’ve forgotten a lot of things in your delusional world where everyone betrays you and you never do any wrong. Because you’re Alex the world’s most perfect child sent by God and we’re supposed to kiss you’re f*cking feet.” Her voice cracked as she tried not to sob. Anger and hurt did not go together. It created just the worst emotions ever. ”If you ever stopped to listen you’d know why I kept this from you. You would have reacted this way whether we told you the moment we decided to start dating, a day later or even when we were planning on doing it. I choose to keep it a secret because of all the hurt this family has gone through with relationships. I still see all the hurt and anger from when Jessica left you and did what she did. That I’m still hurt Samuel wouldn’t ever divorce his wife for me despite telling me he loved me. That Steven couldn’t understand that something was wrong and I am never getting better from it.” At this point she didn’t try to stop the tears. They just came out in sobs as she ground the palm of her hands against her eyes, trying to wipe them away.
Once she was able to take in a breath of air in between the sobs and the pain, she curled down into her bed, her back to Alex. ”I just wanted to be sure it would work. If it didn’t work I didn’t want you to chose between me and him. That wouldn’t be fair after you’ve been there for him through everything.” Leila’s legs came up so that the pillow crunched ot her stomach, moans of pain escaping her lips. She’d have to get the nurse soon if this kept up. Honestly, she was surprises they hadn’t come in yet. ”And for your information I was a virgin until about two weeks ago so it’s not just about f*cking as you so delicately put it. I actually care about him. A lot.” Leila knew this was probably falling on deaf ears and not like it mattered. Soon enough she’d have lunch and be back off to dreamland where life made sense still. Where Alex was happy like he was before his ex and he didn’t flip like he did.
”I honestly don’t care. Tell them. Not like it matters. I’ve already lost the only brother I’m close to, what the hell? Throw mom and dad in too. My life is already shit because I’ve torn the family apart with my condition. Might as well rip that last f*cking thread.”
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Post by alex on Jan 7, 2013 0:55:24 GMT -5
theres a thunder in our hearts baby so much hate for the ones we love TAG: Leila OUTFIT: HERE ONE LAST THING: 1,149 WORDS I still see all the hurt and anger from when Jessica left you and did what she did” The words echoed in his ear. It hit him, hard. If there was anything Alex tried most to block out of his mind – to keep him from remembering – it’s when Jessica left. Flashbacks began swirling in Alex’s mind, and his jaw tightened as his eyes did a haze over. He gripped the nearest wall for support, as his legs instantly turned into jello. He didn’t want to fall down – not here. He didn’t want to have one of his moments – especially here. In this room. With his sister. She saw a lot of things – of course, the hurt and anger being two of them – but she’d never seen what the flashbacks did to him. She’d never seen how he reacted to the flashbacks.
He remembered it all.
He remembered walking into their bedroom – finding his then fiancé Jessica – with another man. He remembered threatening to kill the guy right then and there if he didn’t get the hell out of their house. He remembered seeing him rush to pull his pants on and him rushing out of the room. He remembered the look on Jessica’s face – her covering herself up with the covers. And despite that – Alex was still going to marry her. Why? Why would someone marry someone they’d just found cheating? Why?
Because she was pregnant.
With his child.
What she’d done had hit him like a knife – he spent all night on the phone with Lelia – telling her how bad he was hurting. Leila, on the other end of the phone, threatening to come down there and kill her. She couldn’t believe that Alex was still going to marry her – but Alex knew deep down that she knew the true reason – because of his child. His child. That was one major thing the two had in common – their want and need to be parents.
Then.. when Alex came home the next day.. all hell broke loose. His whole world crumbled even more from beneath him. He found the house, half empty, and a note taped to their bedroom door.
Alex,
You’re a great man. I want you to know this. I’m sorry – but I don’t love you. We both know this whole marriage thing is mainly because of the baby. I’m in love with Jack, and I can’t be with you any longer. Don’t worry about the baby – I had an abortion three weeks ago. I’m sorry. I just can’t do this anymore. The heart wants what the heart wants – and mine just isn’t with you. You will find your true love one day – I hope you don’t hate me too much. I just saved us from making the biggest mistake of our lives.
-Jessica
That had hit him more than anything – it really wasn’t her leaving, it was the fact that she had killed their child. She had killed their baby. That knife went deep into Alex’s heart.. killing almost all good in him. For days, he locked himself in the house. For days, he drank from sunrise to whenever he would pass out. For days, he avoided every phone call – from Leila, from Daniel, from his mom, from Jude – from everyone.
Then.. Daniel told him he needed a change in scenery – and Alex wanted nothing more than to go back home. So, the two packed up – selling both of their places – and within five months, they were able to move.
It had been almost a year since Jessica did what she’d done – and it still got to him. He still carried it everywhere he went. His parents didn’t know about the child – Alex had wanted to keep it a secret just a little bit longer – and when he had found out she had aborted.. he didn’t see any reason to tell them. However, Leila knew. Leila knew alright..
Alex stood there, bracing himself against the wall, not staying a word. His jaw was tightened, and he felt like he was fixing to loose it. Yeah, loose it. Not in a good way either. He felt his body start trembling, and he wanted to just completely let go of everything holding him together. For now, he just braced himself against the wall, taking deep breaths, trying to hold it in. Trying to regain his cool.
Five minutes later, what seemed like an hour, he finally felt normal again. His jaw tightened and he shook his head. “You know, that was a lower blow than anything, Leila. And – I really didn’t care if you were a virgin until you met him – that honestly makes it worse. And, despite you telling me that it was because you wanted to make sure it worked – if you two had come to me.. or even just you – and had been like “Hey.. I really like Daniel.. I know he’s your friend, but I really like him.. and I want to see where this goes without everyone in the family knowing.. is that okay with you?” then – believe it or not – it wouldn’t have gone down like it did when I saw you fcking him a month ago.” He wasn’t screaming, his voice wasn’t even as cold as it was earlier. The only thing traceable in his voice was pain.
“It’s whatever. You’re right – you have lost a brother. I’m sick of this – you have gone your whole life – and whatever you’ve done wrong I’ve either covered it up or made sure the blame fell on myself. Yet, the one time I actually say you’re in the wrong – you act like a fifteen year old and pretend that you did nothing wrong and try and make me out to be the bad guy. You know what, I’ll admit to losing my cool that day – but I will never, in this lifetime, admit to being in the wrong. Newsflash? I wasn’t. I was doing what an older brother SHOULD do. Unless you know, you have always wanted me to be the type of older brother that just doesn’t give a sh*t.. because we both know I can play that big brother just as well as the caring protective one. So take your pick, Leila. Either you want the asshole who doesn’t give a sh*t about you or if you end up in a ditch dead, or you can have the older brother who’s sweet and loving and protective over you. I don’t care if you’re only ten years younger than me – I honestly don’t – you could be older than me and I still would have reacted the same way if you hadn’t told me in the first place. But you know what? It’s not even worth me wasting my breath trying to talk to you – you’re still going to be a selfish delusional brat and say you did nothing wrong.
tell me that we both matter dont we |
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Post by LEILA ANN ZAKARIAN on Jan 7, 2013 1:24:40 GMT -5
| [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,10,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(http://i56.tinypic.com/2zgu9hc.jpg); width: 400px; padding-top:10px;][cs=2] THE STORY OF WHO I AM` SO MANY STORIES OF WHERE I‘VE BEEN. AND HOW I GOT TO WHERE I AM. BUT THESE STORIES DON’T MEAN ANYTHING, WHEN YOU’VE GOT NO ONE TO TELL THEM
TO. IT’S TRUE, I WAS MADE FOR- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - you | | [atrb=width,240][atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,10,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(http://i56.tinypic.com/2zgu9hc.jpg); width: 240px; padding-top:10px;]
Leila was so wrapped up in the pain in her stomach, she didn’t realize Alex hadn’t left. With a grunt she clicked the button on her morphine pump. Screw waiting for food-the pain was real bad. After the clicked the button she made the bed go back to a nearly flat position. If upright when the medication started to kick in she got a terrible headache. Not that she wouldn’t at the end of her treatments but in the middle of them were awful. With the same remote that controlled the bad, she turned off the television, leaving her with silence while she felt the warmth spread through her body. The numbness she already felt began to spread, taking away the pain. And not just the pain from her condition either-the pain in her heart from her brother no longer caring about her. That was owrse then anything else she could go through.
Her eyes became heavy and started to drift just as Alex spoke up. She couldn’t believe he was still here. Carefully, she rolled her body so she was facing the door. She could only keep her eyes slitted open and she half slurred through her words. The medications made her tongue feel thick, like it wasn’t a part of her naturally. ”You may think it makes it worse but it doesn’t. At least he didn’t just toss me aside after, it was with someone I love.” Maybe it was the drugs or maybe not, but yes, Leila loved him. They did say a drunk mind speaks a sober heart. Perhaps that held true for a slightly high mind as well. Or at least in this case. Not like she’d remember half of what she said when she woke up unless he reminded her. ”And I did tell you a few years back I liked him but you just teased me.” Then again, he had been in the middle of tickling her to get her diary. After he had taken it she spilled what half the pages were about. She never thought he’d stop teasing her about it but thankfully he had.
As she laid there, in a half dream and half reality state, tears escaped her eyes ones again. Her face was stained and the blotches more pronounced as she laid there. ”I never said I wasn’t in the wrong, you assumed it. But you were in the wrong too for getting mad without knowing my side because it was my decision to keep it a secret. Not Daniel’s. So fine, if I’ve lost a brother then leave but don’t cut Daniel out. He wanted to tell you from the beginning but I said no. I just couldn’t bear to see you lose someone else, especially at my doing, if something went wrong and you knew about it. I love you too much.” There was no reason to address the rest of his rant. Her body was too exhausted to do much more. That and everything was being suppressed as her muscles relaxed to an extreme. Leila’s brain felt like goo but she fought going fully to sleep as she talked to Alex. If Alex was even really there. For all she knew, she could be dreaming him up. ”I’m sorry Alex. I know I can’t change things but I’m sorry. Don’t leave me alone.” In this state of mind who knew if she met now, in this hospital, or in general. Truth be told it was probably a bit of both. She wasn’t close to her other brothers like she was with Alex and losing him would tear her world apart. She was already teetering on the edge of a complete breakdown. If her big brother-her best friend-left then her world would collapse. Whether she had Daniel in it or not wouldn’t matter. Her ability to have children was probably gone. Her chances at a decent career were gone. If Alex left there wasn’t much else to hold her together anymore and if she fell apart, well, not everyone knew the thoughts she had when she first got diagnosed. Except for Alex...
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Post by alex on Jan 7, 2013 1:35:31 GMT -5
theres a thunder in our hearts baby so much hate for the ones we love TAG: Leila OUTFIT: HERE ONE LAST THING: 310 WORDS Alex’s heart softened a little bit. He wasn’t going to leave her – truth be told – this past month of not speaking to her had been a bit torturous to him. The two were closer than any of the Scott children. It’d been him and her always. So, Alex looked around the room, and found an empty vase near the sink. He pulled the flowers out of the trashcan – thankful that none of them were messed up. He turned the faucet on, and filled the vase half way full, putting the flowers on the counter for now. He took the packet that came with the flowers – that had chemicals in it to make them live longer – tore it open, and dumped the contents into the water before placing and arranging the flowers in the vase. There. All better.
He walked over to the bed, moving the nearby chair closer to the bed. He set the flowers down on the bedside table before he sat down in the chair. Slowly, he grabbed for Leila’s hand. “I’m not leaving you, sis. I don’t hate you.. and I guess I just.. I hated the fact that you kept something from me. Even if it was for a good reason.. I still hated it. It cut me open like a knife.. You don’t even want to know how many times I’ve been with Jude venting about how much I missed you and how much I hated the situation. I’m not going away – and you honestly haven’t lost me. If you should know anything, you should know that I could never completely walk away from you. You’re my little sister- my best friend – and I love you. You come first – above all. Always.” With that, he kissed her hand, he stood half way up just to lean over and kiss her forehead.
“I love you, Leila.”
tell me that we both matter dont we |
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Post by LEILA ANN ZAKARIAN on Jan 7, 2013 1:56:02 GMT -5
| [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,10,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(http://i56.tinypic.com/2zgu9hc.jpg); width: 400px; padding-top:10px;][cs=2] THE STORY OF WHO I AM` SO MANY STORIES OF WHERE I‘VE BEEN. AND HOW I GOT TO WHERE I AM. BUT THESE STORIES DON’T MEAN ANYTHING, WHEN YOU’VE GOT NO ONE TO TELL THEM
TO. IT’S TRUE, I WAS MADE FOR- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - you | | [atrb=width,240][atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,10,true][atrb=style, background-image:url(http://i56.tinypic.com/2zgu9hc.jpg); width: 240px; padding-top:10px;]
Leila’s breathing got heavy as the flow of tears stopped. It only stopped because her body was so relaxed at this point that it couldn’t do anything. The thing about these medications was you didn’t really sleep. The state of mind was more like drifting in and out of consciousness. When she was in her dream world, she thought back to when her, Alex and Daniel were children. Even if the boys sometimes complained about her tagging along, they hardly ever said no. Unless they were getting into real mischief that was no place for her. Somewhere she heard water running. They must be near the leap at this moment for her to hear the sound of rushing water. There were so many memories there Leila couldn’t distinguish one from the other. They sort of all blended together, like flashbacks in a movie. Only the good parts were shown, the ones that made her cry with joy. If only they could make more memories...If only her brother didn’t hate her...
During a moment when she was half in reality, she heard the words Alex said. One of them always caved, even if they didn’t want to. In this case, Leila didn’t want to but the medications made her. With difficulty, she shifted so her legs straightened out and the arm that once held a tight grip on the pillow loosened. The other was slipped under her pillow, limp and useless. With great perseverance, she reached out and loosely grabbed Alex’s hand. There wasn’t much else she could do in her current state. After all, she figure this was just another dream and she wanted to enjoy it. Everything felt so real as her palm was pressed against his loosely. ”Good. I couldn’t loose you, not with everything we’ve been through.” Her voice was distant as she started to drift off again. If this wasn’t a dream then Leila hoped that when she awoke he’d be there. In the past he had always done that-when visiting he’d stay until she woke up at least once, sometimes twice. They had already lost a month of time together and Leila didn’t want to lose anymore. Especially if she was going to try to help him fix things not only with Daniel but his own heart. She hated to see Alex hurt as much as he hated to see her hurt. That’s why, despite the fighting, they were a perfect match as friends.
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