we'll be better than before----jayce

[ALEXANDRIA LEAH CROSS]

[atrb=border,0,true] the girl in the moon with her dreams has a steel melting smile Lexi sat in her car as she bit down on her lower lip. She knew she looked crazy, sitting here in her summer dress on this hot august day. She had come to bring jayce some of his things she wasn’t even aware she had. Lexi was in the process of closing a sale on a house. As soon as Olivia was a little older, and Leila didn’t need so much help, lexi planned to move out. It was high time she got her own house and allowed daniel to enjoy his family. She’d be forever grateful to daniel for helping her get off her feet after dean had gone missing but she needed to venture out on her own now that the divorce had gone through. Honestly lexi wasn’t sure if she was glad or heartbroken about the divorce. Probably a bit of both. Her and dean had just been too different after he was found. That and she just didn’t feel the same way. She had been trying but when dean found out about her and jayce-both before and after his return-that was the end of them. Dean didn’t understand she had thought him dead and had been moving on. The after he go back she had no excuse for, though, except she had wanted it. Her and jayce had a ton of chemistry-yes, even more then she had with dean-and that didn’t go away overnight. They avoided each other at the hospital if he had to come in there for anything and didn’t speak. Now she ahd no choice but to take to him to bring him his things. Finally gaining courage, she stepped out of the car and grabbed her purse. She went to the backseat to get the box of items before she locked up the car. Lexi moved slowly to his apartment and drew in a huge intake of air. She shifted the box so she could knock on the door then went back to support it with both hands. When she heard jayce’s footsteps grow closer she took a step back to give him space and steeled her spine as he opened the door. Lexi was quick to speak up before him. ”I know you don’t want to see me and I understand. I just came to bring you some things of yours I found.” she held the box out and put on a tense, but kind, smile. With her hands free she nervously used her ring fre eleft hand to scratch at her hairline. ”these were at the beach house. If you think any of them are your brother’s just mail them to your parents.” lexi figured they had told jayce about the divorce, glad to have lexi out of the lives of the Blackwell family but really what did she know? Apparently nothing which is why she had been keeping mostly to herself. Which ahd been a good thing. Lexi had an inner peace she didn’t before and felt truly happy by herself despite being single. After all, being happy with yourself is what mattered the most in lexi’s mind and she was finally there. tag: jayce outfit: click! notes: ---

[JAYCE LANCE BLACKWELL]

The past few months he had dug himself deep into his police work and tried to stay there. There was no way that he was going to try and remember that his stupid brother was getting cozy again with the girl that he loved. He hadn’t seen Lexi in so long it was painful. He loved her more than he had ever loved anyone and he wanted her back. He Was busy at home today working on a case and sighed. This wasn’t making any sense! Who was this damn Avery person and what was the people’s connection in the attacks that was going on? Hell there had even been a murder or two from what he had heard.

Thankfully his apartment was clean because he hadn’t really been expecting any company today. When he grabbed his soda and finished drinking it he heard the knock and walked over to the door. Who would be coming at this hour of the night to talk to him? He unlocked the door and opened it only to be greeted by a bright shaft of sunlight which blinded him for a second. “Holy crap it’s bright out here!” He shielded his eyes and then made out the form of a woman standing there. When she started speaking it dawned on him about the same time his sight focused on her. Lexi was here?

She had brought him his things? He looked into her eyes as he took the box from her and gave her a weak smile. “Thanks, I mean you didn’t have to bring this stuff….you could have kept it.” When he catches her left hand running through her hair he noticed her rings weren’t on. He quirked an eyebrow as he looked at her. “what happened? Where are your wedding rings at?” He blinked a few times as he tried to figure it out. Wasn’t she married to Dean? Isn’t that why he hadn’t heard from him in a while? He side stepped and allowed her entrance to his apartment. “Want to come in and tell me what’s going on?” He had no idea what was happening.

Whether she was following him or not he didn’t know all he knew was he was walking back into his apartment and setting the box down then went to get two beers for them to drink. He made his way over to the couch and sat down popping the bottle’s open and handing her one. “Okay, so what’s going on? Tell me everything.” Something bad must have happened if she wasn’t wearing her wedding rings. Last he had heard everything was going well between her and Dean, even after he had learned he had slept with Lexi on more than one occasion.

[ALEXANDRIA LEAH CROSS]

[atrb=border,0,true] the girl in the moon with her dreams has a steel melting smile Lexi had prepared herself for seeing jayce in the ways she thought she needed to. She was prepared for his anger and the possibility of him lashing out. She was prepared that he might slam the door in her face. She was prepared for the silent treatment as he wordless took the items. She was not prepared for the rush of emotions. During their last argument jayce had been right-there was more between them then just sex. A whole lot more but lexi was in deep denial about it. Maybe that’s what drove dean away-he could tell her feelings had changed. she was no longer head over heels in love with him and had some pretty deep feelings for jayce. If lexi were honest she was skittering on the line of being in love with jayce but wouldn’t admit it. They two were so similar and just fell into a pattern together that was comfortable. Things with the new dean hadn’t been comfortable at all. Now she didn’t have either man in her life. Her face fell as she looked him over. He had stubble along his jaw line, his hair was a bit unruly and he looked exhausted. The dark circles were deep and she wished she could reach out and touch him-comfort him. That was not her place, though, and she couldn’t do it. Instead she swallowed the lump in her throat. Why was coming here so much harder then having to face the reality of her divorce? Her head shook out the thoughts and in response to him. ”no it wouldn’t be right if I kept any of it. They’re your’s, not mine.” there was a light shake of her head as lexi said this. At his inquiry of her wedding rings her mouth gapped open in an ‘o’ shape a bit as she stared down at her left hand. Her cheeks flushed pink lightly and went away as she looked back up at him, confusing on her features. ”no one told you?” she figured someone would have. Then again, his parents could still be mad that he was out here in general. And if dean had told them the whole story then it probably made things more difficult. God she hoped not. Jayve didn’t deserve to be treated poorly because of her. Lexi paused before following him in. should she? She knew she desperately wanted to but she also didn’t want to hurt more by dragging this out. Still, you could call her selfish, but she just wanted to talk to him again. Lexi missed jayce and their conversations so much. When he was in California they exchanged lengthy emails and often had late night im sessions. She missed that with him. It would kill her more to have it for a moment and then to leave, but lexi needed it. She followed him in, closing the door softly behind her before she crossed to the couch. She smoothed her dress out under her before she settled down, resisting the urge to sit close to him. She kept distance as she reached for her beer. ”thanks,” lexi muttered as she took a long pull of the drink. With the liquid burning down her throat, she looked down to focus on the bottle as it rested on her lap. ”well dean had to go to California to sort everything out to reverse his declaration of death. He said I shouldn’t come because he had to think about things because he figured out I had slept with you after he came back.” lexi took another pull of her beer, shaking her head slightly at her own stupidity for messing everything up so royally. With the bottle away from her lips she drew in some air and looked over at jayce. ”he decided not to come back. We both realized that we were too different and no longer in love with one another. Not like we were before. She he sent divorce papers, I signed them and here I am now. Officially, legally single and back in the dating game. Not much else ot it, really.” lexi was back in the dating game. A fellow nurse was looking to set her up with someone and doing a double date. Better then facing it along. Lexi set her beer aside and sighed before she she turned her body to face jayce better. Call it habit or desire but she broke slightly and reached to cup one hand along the side of his face and rub her thumb along his cheekbone. ”you look like you’ve been having a rough time, jayce. What’s going on with you?” as she held eye contact with him, she realized what she had done in reaching out for him. She breathed in sharply as she dropped her hand. ”sorry I had gotten used to that. Still, you don’t look so well. Talk to me. I miss talking to you.” lexi’s heart broke at her own confession but she couldn’t help admitting that to him. She really did miss him and she had never hide that fact. Even daniel and Leila could tlel but they just let her be, knowing it would just make things harder on lexi. tag: jayce outfit: click! notes: ---

[JAYCE LANCE BLACKWELL]

The fact that Lexi was here could mean something but what it was he wasn’t sure on. There could be numerous reasons that Lexi was here and one could be to come slap him and tell him that she never wanted to see him at any family function again. When she brought up the box and spoke about it his mind relaxed. Every fiber of his being missed talking to her but she was back with Dean and there was no point in talking to her right now. Dean probably instilled it into her that he was a bad person anyways. “You still could have kept it if you wanted.” It was things he could replace at some point in time really. Raising an eyebrow he blinked at her. “No one told me what?” What was going on?

When she followed him in he walked right passed the board where he was trying to figure this Avery shit out. Who was Avery? Sitting down on the couch he noticed how she kept her distance from him. Well that was just weird. As she spoke up about everything that happened he listened intently. “How would he have figured it out that I slept with you after unless someone told and there were only two of us that knew.” Talk about interesting.

Taking another sip when she did he then placed it back down on the table next to the couch. At her words he blinked. He sent her divorce papers and he wasn’t coming back. You know if she didn’t look like she was going to have a hard time with this now would be the perfect time to come out and tell her he told her so. That was the one thing about his brother. He always left! She was single again? That….that was something he didn’t like the sound of. It meant that anyone could come up and snatch her away from him. That was something he would not let happen again! There was no way he would let her slip through his fingers a second time.

When her hand came up and touched his cheek his eyes closed at the feeling of her hand. He couldn’t help it when he leaned in closer. His lips were about to press to hers when she spoke up again. His hand came up and touched hers wanting her to keep it there as he sighed in distress. “It’s this Avery thing. I’ve been up the past week trying to figure out who it is.” When her hand dropped he looked down and shook his head. “It’s fine Lexi, I missed that.” He looked back up into her eyes and smiled. He hadn’t seen her in forever. “There is one thing I want to talk about….but I don’t know how to right now.” Her single? His ass! He leaned in again and this time he pressed his lips to hers in a kiss that was full of so much heat and love. He wasn’t losing her a second time!

[ALEXANDRIA LEAH CROSS]

[atrb=border,0,true] the girl in the moon with her dreams has a steel melting smile This truly killed lexi being here, more so then her divorce. She wasn’t even sure why. Perhaps because her and dean had been apart for so long they really were different while her and jayce melded so well together. Her and dean had just been unable to bounce back from the time apart and she wasn’t too heartbroken. She had gotten used to not having dean in her life so this wasn’t that huge of a shift. Not having jayce in her life, even as a friend, was something lexi was still getting used to. She hadn’t talked to him while trying to repair her marriage but there was no marriage to repair now so what did it matter really? ”it wouldn’t have been right to keep it.” it was a pointless little argument as they skirted around the real issues for the moments. Not like they were unavoidable as she say the confusion on his face. Lexi licked her lips thoughtfully as she shrugged her shoulders. ”dean and I are no longer together.” her words were quiet but not filled with her. She was simply calm about the whole matter. There was no other way to be except calm because it really wasn’t upsetting her anymore. Lexi had been hurt when dean first went to California but the time apart had given her time to think and she realized she just didn’t feel the same. Not anymore at least. When he first came back she was so happy but now she was perfectly fine with where her life was headed without him. Lexi blushed as she fiddled with her bracelets. ”back at my cousin’s wedding avery had slipped something in my bag and told me to show it to Leila. It was daniel with a girlfriend of his who had died years prior but they edited the timestamp. I didn’t show her but avery sent her a copy anyways. Telling dean about us was retaliation. They had pictures.” lexi had only told Daniel about this and he had taken measures to improve home security but no one else. she hadn’t even gone to the police about it, keeping it to herself. She didn’t want her life dug into anymore then they already were. She was just exhausted from everything the last few months. Lexi just wanted to get into a routine of a calm life, finally. It’s why she had moved home all those years ago after all. Now she would have it with her little cottage house she was buying and maybe, eventually, she’d find someone to be with to share it with. Lexi felt like jayce was about to kiss her but wasn’t sure. It was probably her mind playing tricks on her since she wanted it. As he kept her hand in place, she continued to rub her thumb along his cheekbone. It was so bittersweet in being this close to him knowing she’d be losing him again. She sighed lightly as she looked at him. ”you need to sleep and take care of yourself too. You won’t figure it out when lacking sleep.” part of her wanted to just hold him and tell him to rest-that she’d take care of him. God it would feel so good to just that but she knew she couldn’t. it was no longer her place to. It wasn’t even her place to touch him like she was so she had dropped her hand, debating on leaving but relaxing when he said he mad missed her touching him. She smiled back at him, staving off the flood of emotions as her head tilted to the side slightly. ”what is it, jayce?” she watched him as he quickly moved towards her to kiss her. Lexi’s hands reached up to cup his face and pull him closer as their lips moved together. They fell back on the couch, her body shifting to lay under his own as she moved her tongue to dance with his, not wanting to break the moment. Tears of confusion and pain sprang to lexi’s eyes as she finally broke the kiss. Her head shook. ”jayce I can’t do this. Not again. I can’t do casual anymore.”] lexi looked up at him as some tears escaped and she tried to gently push him away. ”I should go. I shouldn’t have even stayed.” tag: jayce outfit: click! notes: ---

[JAYCE LANCE BLACKWELL]

They were doing a small dance and well it was going to have to end. “Okay, thank you for bringing it back to me.” She was so thoughtful for bringing all of this to him. He couldn’t help but hate himself for not being there for her. He cared about her so much and just wanted her to be his. When the words spilled from her lips that her and Dean weren’t together anymore his jaw dropped to the floor. Her and his brother had finally broken up? Well this was news to him! “No one told me.” Here it goes again! He was the outcast sibling that no one told anything to. Everything he knew just came to a halt. His brother was gone and Lexi was here single.

When she blushed he looked at her as she told him what happened at the wedding. “Are you kidding me?” He growls as he thinks of how this Avery person had hurt Lexi. He was going to find this person and make them pay for everything that they did to her. Not only did they show Dean the pictures but it was just sick they were watching them. Who in their right mind watched a couple sleep together and take pictures of it. He was going to take care of her now that she was on her own. There was one thing he could say and that was he was going to take care of his friend.

He wanted to kiss her, he really did but he couldn’t bring himself to kiss her. There was something there so he just stayed close to her while her thumb rubbed his cheekbone. She was so tender and kind and loving to him. How could he still not be in love with her? Well that’s where he was wrong because he was in fact in love with her. He had never stopped. “I know, I need to get some sleep and just recharge my batteries. I’ll sleep tonight, I promise.” She always had a way of getting him to do something even in the middle of arguments like now. Well this wasn’t an argument but you get the picture.

As she tilted her head he looked into her eyes and shook his head. “It’s nothing, Lexi.” Nothing but the fact he’s still in love with her and would do anything to keep her in his life! When he kissed her and her hands came up to cup his cheek he sighed in happiness. He kissed her deeper and more lovingly as they fell back onto the couch and she shifted so she was under him. He could feel his hips pressing into hers as he opened his mouth and his tongue played with hers. He missed her so much and wanted her back. When the kiss broke he looked at her and wiped the tears away from her eyes. “It won’t be casual Lexi, please, be my girl. I never wanted anything so much in my life as much as I wanted to just call you mine.” When she pushed on his chest and spoke he looked down and moved sitting up. Rejected. “Okay.”

[ALEXANDRIA LEAH CROSS]

[atrb=border,0,true] the girl in the moon with her dreams has a steel melting smile ”you’re welcome.” lexi wished this awkwardness and tension would just go away but she knew it wasn’t that easy to do. There was so much unresolved between them. She wanted to fix everything but she just didn’t know hw to. In coming here she truly thought jayce had hated her for everything. The last time she had been with him she had left while he slept without another word. Anyone would be pissed after something like that. Poor jayce, went through her mind. He was always the last to know everything and she had just hurt him like so many others had as well. ”oh I’m not sure why they didn’t tell you…” unless dean told they had had transpired between the two and they were uspet about it? That was the only explanation. Lexi shrugged a bit. ”it’s fine. Leila and daniel fixed things and it made dean and I face that the marriage wasn’t working. He didn’t trust me anymore and we just didn’t mesh like we did before everything.” not that lexi liked having pictures of her in compromising positions out there. Just the thought sent a wave of nausea throughout her body and made her feel dizzy. The last thing she wanted were for other people to see those photos. The ones she had seen revealed more of herself then lexi liked and to just have photos of what her and jayce had done was sickening. This avery person was seriously twisted. Lexi tried not to think about it, focusing instead on how jayce didn’t look so good. Then again, his lack of slepe did have to do with avery. ”good. You really need to take care of yourself.” she almost added ‘or let me’ but didn’t. coming here was seriously muddling her up and making her realize just how much she wanted to have another shot with him. It seemed unlikely when first coming here but more and more it seemed like that maybe he would give her one unless she was reading the signals all wrong. ”no tell me. What do you want to talk about?” lexi wouldn’t let up so easily, even if the moment of his body pressed to her and their mouths dancing made her feel dizzy. Their legs tangled together slightly as they remained pressed to one another until lexi felt emotions begin to flood her. This was perfect and heartbreaking all at once. She leaned into his touch as he wiped the moisture from her face. He relaly was too perfect and lexi definitely didn’t desrve a man as good as him. Not after she had hurt him. Despite saying she should leave, lexi didn’t. she sat up and absorbed his words, thinking them over. Lexi could’ve sworn he’s hate her, not want her still. She gazed at him but didn’t touch him despite aching to do so. ”I thought you would hate me for everything that happened, not want me still.” her voice quivered in emotion as she fiddled with the edge of her dress nervously. ”you really still want to be with me? No more hiding it?” tag: jayce outfit: click! notes: ---

[JAYCE LANCE BLACKWELL]

Hopefully everything that was awkward in the air would leave soon and maybe they would be able to get back on the track they used to be on. They were best friends or well used to be best friends and he wanted that back. She was the one person in this whole town he cared for and he wanted nothing more than to be hers all over again. Hearing that she didn’t know why they didn’t want to tell him he tried to think about it. “Only one reason I can think of.” Asshole family of his! He was going to stay away from them for the rest of his life. If he could spend it here and be with Lexi then that was what he was going to do.

“I’m glad they’re doing okay now. Not to mention I need to send them something! They just had a little girl right?” It made his heart ache for Lexi knowing that her cousin had a baby girl and she never was able to give birth to her child. With a sigh he looked into her eyes and took her hand in his. “I promise I will find that sick fuck and destroy those pictures he has of you and me together. I don’t want him putting you on the internet for every man to see.” That was the truth. He was going to protect Lexi as long as he could.

Looking back up into her eyes he nodded his head. “I will try to but it’s hard when my best friend isn’t here to keep me on track of things.” Yes, that meant he wanted her back in his life and never wanted her to leave it again. His heart was aching with longing for her and he wanted to have her back. She was the one woman he cared about and needed to have back in his life. “It’s nothing Lexi.” Hopefully she wouldn’t bring it up after the kiss. He pressed into her close as their bodies meshed together perfectly. His legs tangled with hers as his hands slowly ran up her legs. Everything in the kiss made him want her more and more. He wanted her to be his.

As she leaned into his hand he sighed in content at the feeling of her being with him again. Watching her sit up and stay there he relaxed a little knowing she wouldn’t be leaving him right now. When she spoke up about him hating her after everything that happened he looked up and into her eyes shaking her head. “I could never hate you Lexi. I told you how Dean was and you didn’t believe me so I had to let you learn that lesson. I did tell you he would leave again.” As her voice quivered and she messed with her dress he looked into her eyes at her question. In response he leaned in kissing her hard as he laid her back against the couch and slid her dress up around her hips……

[ALEXANDRIA LEAH CROSS]

[atrb=border,0,true] the girl in the moon with her dreams has a steel melting smile ”what reason is it you think they didn’t tell you?” lexi was actually curious as to what it was. She saw no reason they wouldn’t tell him. Then again her views on the world were skewed a lot lately. She chuckled a bit. ”yeah they did. Olivia rose. She’s...perfect. I was there.” lexi swallowed a lump of emotions. The moment had been heart warming and heartbreaking all at once for her. ”just don’t worry about it ok? I never even went to the cops and it’s too late now. My brother doesn’t even know.” lexi looked up at jayce sternly. ”Please don’t tell him. I’m serious-he’ll freak out and I don’t want to worry him. He’s handling everything from prom so he’s dealing with enough already.” the idea of pictures of her online did make her stomach turn. What could she even do if that happened, huh? Not much. Once they were on the internet it was out there. Oh well. Her life was already messed up enough. How much more so could it get fucked up? Her husband had left her, his parents hated her, this creepy a person was targeting her and she had lost her best friend. Life was full of ups and downs but lately hers seemed to only be down. Lexi’s gaze dropped. ”I am sorry about that, jayce. I jut figured it was best for distance.” lexi knew the whole thing had to have hurt him and she just didn’t want to hurt him more. This moment wasn’t about arguing so she also dropped what he wanted to talk about but wouldn’t at this moment for some reason. The kiss made that easy. It also made it so much harder to be here. She just wanted him back so desperately but they couldn’t go back to before. To know it wouldn’t and that he didn’t hate her made her heart light with joy. It was short lived as she scoffed. ”that’s pathetic, jayce. Saying I needed to elarn a lesson about him leaving like I’m a child. I’m sorry I ahd tried to take my vows seriously.” her voice was soft and stern. She still didn’t want to argue but it seemed to keep coming up slightly and probably would until this could be put to rest. Jayce’s body now on top of her own as his lips danced with hers certainly helped put things to rest between them. His touch drowning out all rational thought.….. Lexi stirred in the bed. She had remembered falling asleep on jayce but at some point she had fallen to be more beside him. He looked so peaceful she silently crept out of the bed. Not to leave this time. No she grabbed one of his shirts and a pair of shorts and moved to the bathroom. She needed to shower quickly before they did anything else. She didn’t spend long in there as she didn’t have any of her own things to use in the shower. She made a mental note to bring some stuff then lexi stopped that thought. They had to talk about things first. Her hands nimbly moved to dry off before she put on the clothing and went to crawl back into bed beside him. Her hands moved to pull the covers around him and she felt him stirring before his hands pulled her close. Lexi sweetly kissed his shouder. ”hey.” tag: jayce outfit: click! notes: ---

[JAYCE LANCE BLACKWELL]

His mind races as he tries to think about what reason they would have to not tell him that she had divorced his brother and was now single. It all clicked in a second and he looked into her eyes. “There is only one reason that I can think of that they wouldn’t tell me.” Taking a deep breath he looked into her eyes. “Dean told them what was happening between us and they decided to let me continue to think you were still married to him to keep me away from you.” The sons of bitches! How could they do this to him? A smile spread on his lips when she told him about the baby. “I wouldn’t mind seeing her one day.” He looked at Lexi and took her hand and squeezed it. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have brought it up.”

“Are you sure that you don’t want me to find them?” He looks into her eyes and smiles as he pokes her in the sides playfully. “So you don’t consider me a real cop then?” He was only teasing of course and it was evident in his voice. “I swear to you on my honor as a cop I won’t tell him at all.” There was nothing he would do for Lexi and she should know it. The pictures of her naked and online really did piss him off though. A sigh leaving his lips as he thought about it.

Looking into her eyes he nodded his head and sighed. “I know, you needed some space and I should have realized that at the time. I’m sorry I was mad at you.” He actually felt really bad about the fact he had been mad at her over something that wasn’t any of their control. He didn’t want to argue about anything with her anymore so they didn’t need to. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said it.” He looked down knowing he had been wrong to say it. It was hard to stay mad at one another when you were entwined with one another and enjoying each other. He wanted to comfort her and be there with her….

He was in a deep sleep after what happened between them but his mind was still running with the memory of what they had done. Not even feeling her stir he sighed in content. His arms slipped around her not even realizing she had slipped out and gone to the bathroom to shower and freshen up. When he came around he pulled her close to him and he felt her kiss his shoulder. Hearing her voice there made him smile. Eyes opening he saw her beautiful face and he could help but keep the smile on his lips. “Good morning beautiful, did you sleep well?” Pulling her close to him he leaned in and gave her a good morning kiss.