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Post by CUPCAKE ! on Mar 28, 2013 11:28:21 GMT -5
Bad:
Starter -
Janelle walked into the cafe. She went to the counter and ordered her coffee, then went and sat down with it. It was hot so she waited to sip it until it was cool. When it was cool, she began to drink. Janelle noticed a man looking at her. She smiled and said "Hi."
Reply -
Brad had been sitting in the cafe for a while. He looked around and saw a girl come in. He noticed she sat at a table with a cup of coffee. He couldn't help but keep staring at her because she was pretty. Finally she noticed and spoke to him. "Hi" he replied. "How are you?"
Good:
Starter -
Janelle had, had a long day at work. She needed a cup of coffee and now. Walking into the cafe, she waited in line and approached the counter when it was her turn. She ordered a medium drip and paid the cashier. When the coffee was ready, she took it to the dairy bar and added cream and sugar to it. Janelle sipped her coffee to make sure it was to her liking, before going to find a table.
Deciding on one near the window, she set down her coffee, hung her bag and jacket on the back of the chair and took her seat. Janelle reached back to her bag and pulled out a book. She was reading one of her favorites, "Pride and Prejudice". She found it to be one of the most moving love stories ever written. You couldn't beat a good Jane Austen.
As Janelle read, she began to notice a man looking at her out of the corner of her eye. At first she ignored him, but when he didn't quit, she finally decided to confront him on it. Is there something on my face? she asked with a little laugh. Janelle was neither rude nor warm with her question. She was just finding it terribly odd and uncomfortable that the man was staring at her...handsome as he was. He almost reminded her of how she'd always imagined Mr. Darcy would look.
Reply -
Brad had come into the cafe after work today. It was one of his favorite spots to just sit and wind down after a stressful day. The atmosphere was welcoming and relaxing and the food and beverages were some of the best in the area.
As Brad sat, sipping his Caramel Frappe, one of his absolute favorite "Guilty pleasures" and tapping away on his lap top, finishing up papers for work, he couldn't help but notice a tall and attractive blonde enter the cafe. Casually he watched her move from the counter, to the dairy bar, to a table near the window. Brad couldn't help but notice how graceful she was as she removed her coat and bag, sat and withdrew a book from her bag. "Pride and Prejudice". What was it with women and than book?!
Without even realizing it, Brad was full on staring now, enthralled by the woman's beauty. It wasn't just her slim tall figure, or her long blonde hair. It was the way her blue eyes danced about the page she was reading, and the curvature of her lips as she smiled and frowned at different portions of her reading. The way her nose moved as she breathed and the way her fingers grasped each page when she turned them.
Suddenly Brad realized the woman was staring right at him and had uttered some few words. Clearing his throat and trying think quickly of how he could save this, he answered slyly. Just a pretty smile. Brad winked, then got up from his seat and approached her. Mind if I join you? he asked, but didn't wait for a reply before sitting down. So tell me...miss? he waited for her name. Janelle...beautiful name by the way...what is it with women and their infatuation with this Mr. Darcy? It's nearly as bad as Twilight!
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