Drowning In Our Demise....Kylie

[CAMERON AIDEN MATTHEWS]

[atrb=border, 0, true][atrb=style, width: 420px; background-color: #A9B1B9; border: 10px #1B2836 solid] it‘s amazing, you save me | tag: kylie | outfit | Notes: I DESPIRE YOU FOR MAKING ME DO THIS THREAD -cries- Cameron was beating himself up over and over again on if this was the right decision. It was probably a bad sign when he didn’t know but it was so difficult… Cameron had sent Kylie a text saying they needed to talk. The dreaded talk. Cameron was ending things and it was killing him inside. He didn’t want to-oh no, quite the opposite. Cameron wanted to be with Kylie more then anything else in this world. She brought joy into his life unlike anything he had felt before. So why would a may so in love be doing this? Because he loved her. Or that’s the justifications he gave. Just a few days prior at Valentine’s she had said that if needed she’d cancel some meetings if it meant being with him. How could he ask her to do that when she was just getting her fashion line going? That’d be cruel of him to do. And Cameron couldn’t exactly quite his job to follow her around the world. He didn’t have tons of money like she did. Despite being a doctor, he was a working man. Did all he could to pay his bills and some months barley got by. He wouldn’t live off her money. That and her parents pretty much told him that as well. They had left him three messages at various times telling him he was holding their daughter back from their full potential. Pretty much he had no chance of being in their good graces. He could already tlel from their tones that the didn’t approve of him. Cameron hadn’t told Kylie any of this because he felt too guilty. He wouldn’t cause a rift between her parents, no matter how small or brief. Cameron, instead, would take the punch and let her go. It was killing him but he would do that. He’d rather her be happy with someone else as well as successful then be hindered by him. When he heard the knock, he flinched. This was going to be so difficult to do. Much more difficult then he expected for being together for the amount of time they had been. Begrudgingly, he got up to let her in. she pressed a kiss to his lips which he let linger for a moment. Their last kiss...he couldn’t stop the tears that sprang to his eyes. He reached up to wipe at his face with both hands before he followed Kylie into the living room. After she sat, he took a seat a distance from her but which allowed him to look at her. Not like he could look at her. Looking at her beautiful face, already so full of concern, just broke him even more. He swallowed the lump that had formed before he leaned forward. He clasped his hands together and pressed them to his lips. ”Kylie I-you know I love you so much. So very much. And I have been trying hard to be the man you deserve in this world but I can’t.” Cameron closed his eyes to stop his own tears from falling. His own heart was literally breaking at this moment. He didn’t want to say these words but it was best for both of them. ”We each want tow different things. You want to have a famous fashion line and travel the world. I want to stay here, in Hope Harbor. I just don’t see this working anymore.” His back stiffened for the fury sure to be unleashed on him.

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[KYLIE BRIDGET STOWE]

Kylie had been having somewhat of a rough day. The Morning sickness had been terrible and her emotions were all over the place, no doubt due to her unbalanced hormones. But it was going to be a good day overall. Because it as the day she was planning to tell Cameron about their child. And somehow, she just felt that he was going to be very happy about it, giving her a sense of peace on the issue. Kylie had even worked out for how she was going to tell him. She had, had a shirt made up that said "Pregnancy Test - $10, Parenting Books - $40, Having your boyfriend read this shirt and find out you're pregnant - PRICELESS". Kylie put on the shirt, then put a pull over on over that. She was planning to surprise Cameron by going over right after supper and tell him the good news.

As Kylie was getting ready, she got a text from Cameron, saying the needed to talk and asking her to come over. She'd never gotten a text like that from him before. It made her nervous as she wondered what it was all about. After thinking on it for a few minutes, she decided that either Cameron and found out about the baby....or...he was planning to purpose! Kylie decided that since her doctor in Chicago was the only one who knew she was pregnant, and there was simply no way he could find that out, that he must be planning to purpose. Why else would he send her such a vague text?! There was something he didn't want to tell her, or something he didn't want her to figure out.

Kylie got in her car and drove over to Cameron's apartment. She went to his door, and knocked, smiling as she couldn't wait to see him. He was everything to her and every solitary moment they could spend together was never enough. She couldn't wait for a time when Cameron would ask her to be his wife and she had a feeling that was going to be tonight. When he opened the door, Kylie stepped in and kissed him as she always did. Cameron let the kiss linger and she could tell something was not right. His eyes were slightly glassy and he seemed ill at ease. Perhaps he had found out about the baby. So he wasn't happy about it! Well she didn't care if he wanted this baby or not. Kylie would choose their child over Cameron and that was about the only thing.

Cameron lead her slowly into the living room, not saying a word. They sat, but Cameron put space between them, where as she had expected him to put his arm around her like he usually did. What the heck was going on with him. Kylie was really worried now. A lump was forming in her throat and she felt sick to her stomach. All the color drained from her face as Cameron began to speak. What was his game here. Cameron....what do you mean? She could hardly get the words past the lump in her throat.

Kylie's eyes closed as she felt like she was going to pass out at Cameron's words. An icy chill went down her spine and she was sure she was going to be sick. Where is this coming from? Tears began to flood down her face. I-I thought things were going well for us! Did I do something to push you away?! She wiped frantically at her eyes, but the tears wouldn't stop coming.

Kylie didn't understand. What had happened?! Only a few days ago they had celebrated their first Valentines Day together. All those lovely things Cameron had done for her and all that they had said to one another. Had something changed? Something about her? Had she done something to hurt or anger him? How could Cameron feel he wasn't worthy of her?! That sounded like the worst excuse she'd ever heard. No! There was something else going on here. There had to be.

- tag : cameron
- notes : soooooo sad!
- credit : template brought to you by The_Actress. lyrics from RIVER by LIGHTS!

[CAMERON AIDEN MATTHEWS]

[atrb=border, 0, true][atrb=style, width: 420px; background-color: #A9B1B9; border: 10px #1B2836 solid] it‘s amazing, you save me | tag: kylie | outfit | Notes: I DESPIRE YOU FOR MAKING ME DO THIS THREAD -cries- Cameron expected everything that was happening. The look of confusion and hurt on her face. The tears that began to flow. The confusion. That still didn’t make this easier. Cameron was trying not to let it show that this wasn’t something he wanted to do. He did everything he could to keep an unreadable face, which was something he was good at for his job. If you went in with a grim face after a difficult diagnosis was found out, then patients would never feel at ease around you. An icy, sharp breath was drawn in. ”I think we should just move on from one another.” Those words hit him like a ton of bricks despite it coming from his own mouth. He swallowed back another lump as he gazed down at the floor. He needed that moment to just gather himself. If he let himself feel too much, then he would surely cave right in. he’d break down in tears, tell her he didn’t mean it and take her back to his room to show her how much he didn’t mean it. But Cameron couldn’t do that. No, if her parents disliked him that much, what kind of life could they have together? ”I’ve just been thinking about us the last couple days and I don’t know how it can work. You need to travel all the time for work and you say you want me to go with you on these trips but Kylie I can’t. my job is here. I can’t just drop everything and travel the world. I have bills to pay, loans to take care of. Plus, I don’t want to do that. I’m perfectly happy here in Maine. No where else.” His tone wasn’t cruel but it was firm. He didn’t know how else to get his point across. Cameron just wanted her to be able to move on with her life and be happy.

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[KYLIE BRIDGET STOWE]

They needed to move on from one another? What was that all about? Was there someone else in his life? Was it Sydni? Kylie knew she had a boyfriend, but that didn't matter if she and Cameron were going after one another. No! no! She wasn't going to allow herself to think that way. It was impossible that Cameron was pursuing someone else. There had to be a perfectly logical and reasonable explanation. Something she could get to the bottom of and diffuse. Move on?! B-But....why? I don't understand! And she didn't. Move on with no other explanation. I'm not hearing this from you. She said weakly as she stood and paced a little bit, with her head in her hands.

Kylie stopped and turned to look at him when he expounded upon the why. But we talked about this! Being one to speak with her hands they now wave at her sides. I said if you couldn't go that was okay...I told you I would keep the trips at a minimum and that I wasn't going to let this come between us. Kylie collapsed into an arm chair. I thought you supported me on this. She whispered. I thought you loved me. The worst part of Cameron's little speech was hearing that he didn't even want to go with her. That hurt her like nothing else. It was a dagger right to her heart, and the pain from it was not proverbial...no, it was quite real. Kylie was unable to even look at him, for fear of further breaking down and getting so upset it would harm the baby. THE BABY! Oh gosh, the baby!

She had planned to come here tonight and tell him about their child. Now what was she supposed to do? Kylie couldn't tell him...at least not now. Because if she told him now, he'd feel he had to stay with her just for their child. And that wasn't what she wanted. Kylie wanted Cameron to stay, for her, not for their baby. Was that selfish? Perhaps, but not really. Because if he stayed just for their baby, it would cause stress between the two of them and child would be raised in a stressful atmosphere where his or her parents had grown to dislike and possibly even hate one another. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair to Kylie and it wasn't fair to their baby.

Head down, Kylie hugged her body, rocking back and forth in the chair. She joked on a sob and brought her hand back up to her eyes again, covering them. Cameron...please don't do this....If you love me than we can work this out! she begged, finally lifting her head. Her tear ridden eyes pleaded with him. Kylie hated to beg anyone for anything. But for Cameron, she would beg, on her knees if she had to.

- tag : cameron
- notes : soooooo sad!
- credit : template brought to you by The_Actress. lyrics from RIVER by LIGHTS!

[CAMERON AIDEN MATTHEWS]

[atrb=border, 0, true][atrb=style, width: 420px; background-color: #A9B1B9; border: 10px #1B2836 solid] it‘s amazing, you save me | tag: kylie | outfit | Notes: I DESPIRE YOU FOR MAKING ME DO THIS THREAD -cries- Cameron figured this would be the reaction he got from Kylie. Yes, he knew her. Even if they hadn’t had this large scale of a fight he just knew it’d be entirely heartbreaking. And it really was. Just she didn’t realize it was breaking more then her heart. As she moved within his apartment he stayed planted in his seat. He had to stay here or else he might do something irrational like go to her. It took all his will power to hold himself back and keep his emotions to himself. ”Seriously, do you hear yourself? You want to risk your business for what? A shitty apartment, nearly empty bank account and someone who doesn’t want to travel around the world. I cannot give you any kind of life, Kylie!” He paused as he drew in a few breaths. Cameron didn’t want to raise his voice. Yelling at her and trying to causing her to be angry at him was a last resort. ”I didn’t say I didn’t support you. I think you should go do what you want with your life but I can’t be a part of it. I have no place in your world, Kylie.” He didn’t even respond to the part about loving her. Of course Cameron loved her. That’s why he was doing this. Her parents were right-he couldn’t bring anything to the relationship. He was just there. Cameron’s finances weren’t great. Yes, he paid his bills, but he was in debt. He didn’t own a home and his car was nine years old, bought used. Cameron kept everything at a minimal for his lifestyle. Kylie was used to being comfortable. Even if she wasn’t spoiled, she had enjoyed a comfortable lifestyle. Something Cameron just couldn’t provide at this point in his life. Cameron shook his head as he turned to look away from her. ”I don’t see how this can work out, Kylie. I really don’t. I don’t want to be some trophy boyfriend, following his girlfriend wherever she goes. That’s no life and I’ll just miserable which will make you miserable.” Despite the edge to his words, his tone wasn’t cold or meant to be hurtful. Just he wanted to get his point across. Well, his version of his point he was presenting. Cameron couldn’t give all of the real reasons why he was doing this. Doubtful she would believe him anyways. It’s not like he had proof. The messages deleted off his cellphone after about two weeks and since there was no way to permanently save them, they were gone. There was no proof of her parents harassing him. It would be his word against theirs and he had a feeling he’d just lose out. No, it was better to let go of Kylie this way then to have her parents poison her against him. He’d rather do this his way and then let her move on to lead a happier life.

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[KYLIE BRIDGET STOWE]

Do I hear myself? Do I hear myself?! she yelled through the streaming tears. It's my choice what I do with myself and my career and I chose you...I told you if it came down to my career or us, I would choose you...because you're the one I love, you're the one that makes me happy! Kylie sobbed. I don't care about the apartment or the money...I just want to be with you Cameron...I love you! Not a career or money or possessions! What has happened to you?! She buried her head in her hands, trying to get her emotions under control.

He had no place in her world?! Since when?! Was this about the whole thing with Paris. She raised her head slowly, looking at him in disbelief. Cameron....you are my world. Kylie's voice was hoarse now and her eyes were puffy and bloodshot from crying. Why was this happening to her, to them? What had gone wrong? How could he turn on her so fast?! Cameron was everything she lived for these days. Sure she had her job and she loved it. But Kylie had never loved it more than when she was with Cameron, because she felt he supported her, in all aspects of her life. He made her life so much better than she could ever have imagined. And now, she was losing that. How was Kylie supposed to go on?! How as she supposed to live her life now without him by her side. Kylie felt like she was dying inside. Every breath seemed closer to her last.

Kylie hugged herself again, as anxiety induced chills racked her body. Kylie felt like ripping out her hair, she was so hurt and angry and frustrated. Why did love have to hurt like this. Why couldn't be all fairytales and happy endings like the movies?! What was about her and Haven, falling so hard for these guys, who they thought were the best in the world, only to have them abandon them?! First Louis and now Cameron. And after everything he'd said about Louis. Cameron you're such hypocrite! After everything you said to and about Louis and you're going to turn around and do almost the same thing! You're all the same! Kylie got up and grabbed her purse, grabbing her coat, she stood near the door. I trusted you! I loved you! I gave you my heart....I don't understand how you can do this to me....I don't even know who you are....At least I found out now that you never loved me, before we got too much deeper into this whole facade. Kylie turned to reach for the door handle. She had to get out of here. She had to get home and see Haven. Perhaps she could talk some sense into Cameron.

- tag : cameron
- notes : soooooo sad!
- credit : template brought to you by The_Actress. lyrics from RIVER by LIGHTS!

[CAMERON AIDEN MATTHEWS]

[atrb=border, 0, true][atrb=style, width: 420px; background-color: #A9B1B9; border: 10px #1B2836 solid] it‘s amazing, you save me | tag: kylie | outfit | Notes: I DESPIRE YOU FOR MAKING ME DO THIS THREAD -cries- Cameron’s jaw stiffened as he took every word she threw his way. He deserved everything she was saying to him. He knew everything he was saying sounded like a lame excuse. And it was because he couldn’t tell her the truth. It was worse then this. He could live with her hating him. Really, he could. It’d just be easier if she actually seemed like she hated him. Kylie trying to fight for them just wasn’t helping things at all. His hands went up to his eyes to rub at them in an attempt to stem the flow of tears. If he cried then everything would be up for his charade. Kylie would know something else was going on that what he was telling her. ”What happened to me is I care about my career too! And I’m not putting my job on the line for yours. And really, if you put yours on the line for me you know you’d resent me. You said you only were putting it off until you found your sister. Well, you found her and now you can have everything you’ve ever wanted Kylie. Everything I cannot give you!” Maybe getting angry would help. He was taking the anger for himself and trying to let it out in general. Still, some of the words rang true. Cameron did wonder how he could keep up or compete with the lifestyle she was used to. He saw no possible way to be able to. Even her girlfriends were able to get her something nicer then he could get her. And he could afford to travel to maybe one place a year with her and be able to pay for at least his own things. He wouldn’t make kylie have to support him just so they could be together. ”I’m a terrible person to have be your world.” It stung Cameron deep to have to be this mean but really he didn’t have a choice. Trying to gently break up wasn’t working. Which seemed to work. She started to yell at him but her words made him angry. This was nothing like what Louis had done. He left without a word. Cameron was being as honest as he was able to with her. He kept his back to her while she moved around the apartment for her things and buried his head in his hands. A few tears started to spring up to his eyes. It hurt having her believe he never loved her. That door slamming with like a boulder crashing into his world. She was gone. Actually gone. ”oh God what have I don’t?” he thought to himself as sobs filled the otherwise silent apartment. He wanted to go after her so badly but just didn’t see how it was possible. Kylie would probably hate Cameron for the rest of his life. And it killed him because he loved her so very deeply. How would he ever recover from this? This had been a terrible mistake. Cameron had to fix this. As soon as things calmed down then he would fix it. Yes, he’d call Haven in a couple hours and ask for her help. And then he’d tell her everything. He just hoped she believed him. For now all Cameron could do was cry in sorrow and guilt over what had just happened.

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